The ugly little monster shadowing Thomas Hearns could disappear Monday night.
Or it could follow Hearns for the rest of his life.It depends on the outcome of his scheduled 12-round bout against Sugar Ray Leonard on Monday night.
"It's been one war after another - living with this pain, this little monster following me around," Hearns said. "I've been living with it for eight years. I'm fed up. I'm tired of living with it. Something has to be done about it."
The little monster is the bitterness that has consumed Hearns since his first bout with Leonard, on Sept. 16, 1981, when he squandered a lead on points to wind up as a knockout victim in the 14th round.
"This rematch is all a dream come true," Hearns said. "Ray knows I want him. I want him bad."
Both fighters were rising superstars in 1981, but their considerable skills, while still enough to keep them competitive in their sport, have diminished. Hearns is 30, Leonard 33, and both have altered their styles over the years. Less active with their fists and their legs, they try to conserve their energy in the ring, but they dispute the contentions that they are "over the hill." Both men say they try to use guile and experience to achieve the results they once got with pure athletic skill.
"I have to think a great deal," Hearns said. "I have to use my head and my left jab. Having my left hand in great working order will help, because if the left hand is working well, then the rest of the punches will be no problem."
Hearns and Leonard have won five titles apiece, and each fighter will be defending his version of the super-middleweight crown - the much-maligned World Boxing Organization title held by Hearns and the World Boxing Council title held by Leonard.
The titles may be insignificant, however, because this is an age in which there are so many boxing organizations that championship belts have become baubles.
No, for this fight, the important factor is the revenge that Hearns wants to exact.
"For this fight, motivation has been my least worry," Hearns said.
That was not true for some of his recent fights, including his third-round knockout loss to Iran Barkley last summer and his controversial decision over James Kinchen last fall.
"In those fights, my big problem was thinking ahead and wanting something bigger and better - Sugar Ray Leonard," Hearns said. "I wasn't motivated for those fights. I wasn't eager to train hard and show the world that I still had it, that I still wanted to box. It was hard for me to get up for those fights."
Hearns spent only one month training for the Barkley fight, and in the news conferences before the Kinchen bout, he talked more about Leonard than he did about Kinchen.
"I hear Tommy thinks about me all the time," Leonard said back in November, before the bout with Hearns was signed. "But that's his problem. I'm not really thinking about him."
Hearns admits that, if he allows it to get out of hand, his obsession with beating Leonard could prove disastrous.
"I can't let myself get carried away by my negative feelings toward Ray," he said. "I have to concentrate on the fight itself. If I get hung up on emotion, it could probably cause me a problem."
While he was lackadaisical in preparing for his some of his recent fights, Hearns began training for this one before the bout was even announced.
"I started training right away," he said. "I ran into the gym before the deal was signed, because I had a feeling that the fight was coming off. People would ask me, `Why are you training?' I just had this great feeling that Ray would give me a rematch."
Emanuel Steward, who has trained Hearns throughout his professional career, said the fighter is better conditioned than he has been in years.
"This will be my 51st championship fight in 12 years, but this one is special," Steward said. "You have two great fighters, and they will bring out the best in each other."
Although he said earlier this week that Hearns should retire if he lost, Steward does not expect his fighter to lose.
"With all the emotion pent up inside Tommy, I know he will meet Leonard in the center of the ring," the trainer said. "I don't think it will last four rounds. Tommy is prepared to knock Leonard out."
Although Hearns has two other losses on his resume - to Barkley and Marvelous Marvin Hagler, both by devastating knockouts - it is the defeat to Leonard that haunts him the most.
"I almost came to the point where I thought the rematch would never happen," Hearns said. "But I kept the faith. I never wanted Hagler or Barkley as much as I wanted Leonard. Ray Leonard's been on my mind for a long time. ...
"The reason I want Leonard so much is because it was the first loss of my professional career and because of the way I lost, being so far ahead. It hurts."
Leonard said his opponent was obsessed with winning because of what he called his "insecurity."
"I don't know why this fight is so important to Tommy," Leonard said. "He's talking like it could make or break his career. Win or loss, Tommy will always be a great fighter, in my opinion."
Insecure or not, Hearns said it would be hard to return to his hometown of Detroit if he loses.
"I feel that I have to prove that I'm a better man, a better fighter than Ray Leonard," he said. "I don't want to go through my life thinking about that fight over and over, over and over again. It's been a definite nightmare. To let my fans down again would be tough."
If he lost again, that little ugly monster would get bigger and uglier.