DEAR ABBY: Is it true that tickling by a father leads to future sexual abuse? This goes on constantly between a father and his 11-year-old daughter. The father is known to have sexually abused another family member when she was young.
Please answer soon because I am afraid that all this tickling can lead to something bad. The daughter starts out laughing, but she always ends up crying. This may not be any of my business, but I am worried. - CONCERNED AUNTDEAR CONCERNED: Tickling can be a prelude to sexual abuse, but it is not necessarily always the case. If, however, the child ends up crying, she is expressing pain - not pleasure - and her father should not be permitted to play this abusive game. (Excessive tickling in ancient times was used as a form of torture, which is no laughing matter.)
I would be more concerned about the father's previous record of sexually abusing a child. You did not state whether the father had been through counseling after having sexually molested another family member. Both the father and his 11-year-old daughter should be spoken to by a professional from a child-protection agency.
It is the business of every adult to protect a child from any kind of abuse. And to look the other way, knowing this is going on, makes the adult a party to the crime.
DEAR ABBY: Recently, when my roommate and I moved out of the apartment we had occupied for two years, our landlord refused to return our security deposit. He claimed that we had done some damage, and the apartment was so filthy, he had to repaint it.
We couldn't prove otherwise, although we did absolutely no damage, and the apartment was cleaner when we moved OUT than it was when we moved IN.
Abby, please advise your readers to take pictures of rental property before they move in and before they move out. Even take pictures of the inside of the oven and refrigerator!
I'm not saying that all landlords are crooks, but it's better to be safe than sorry. - CHEATED IN KEENE, N.H.
DEAR CHEATED: Good advice. According to a Chinese proverb, "One picture is worth more than 10,000 words." It can also be worth a security deposit when it's your word against your landlord's.
DEAR ABBY: Your series of letters from people arguing over the statistics on which age group has the lowest income reminded me of this analogy I heard some time ago: Statistics are a lot like bikinis - what they reveal is fascinating, but what they conceal is vital! - R.C. WALT, NORTH ST. PAUL, MINN.
Abby's favorite recipes are going like hotcakes! Send your name and address, plus check or money order for $3.50 ($4 in Canada) to: Abby's Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)