Their fathers may have forgotten them, but they have not forgotten their fathers.
Most don't even know their fathers' names, but these children of the war dream of finding that American - soldier, airman, sailor or Marine - who is their dad."I imagine that my father loved me a lot, even though he left me," says Nguyen Ba Cong, 24. "If he could see me now, he would be proud. If I could meet him, I would be crying and smiling. I have never been able to call anyone Dad."
Officially, the Vietnam War ended 14 years ago, but for the kids fathered by American servicemen and civilians, the war for survival rages on.
No one knows exactly how many Amerasians there are here. The estimate is 8,000 to 12,000.
The Amerasians are now, on average, 19 years old - the age their fathers were when they came to Vietnam.
In a society that worships ancestors and reveres fathers, the children are outcasts. Many have been abandoned or abused by their Vietnamese families. The slang for mixed-blood children is bui doi - the dust of life.
To see them is startling. It is like watching a roll call of ghosts.
Many, like their fathers, are tall and broad-shouldered and seem out of place in a country where people are short, slim and lithe.
Some hardly look Asian. Their eyes are round, their hair curly and light. Those with black fathers are perhaps the most elegant and striking racial blend. They don't realize how handsome they are because they live in a culture that reviles those with dark skin, be they Amerasians, Cambodians or ethnic hill tribes.
Their stories are sad and stark:
- Raymond, 24, the son of a black soldier he never knew and a Vietnamese woman who abandoned him at age 3, spent 12 years in a political re-education camp.
"Why do you keep me so long?" Raymond said he used to ask his captors. "They said, `Your spirit is not changing. You still act like an American in the camp and you know that is our enemy. Your father is our enemy. They came to bomb and kill our people.' I said that was not my fault. I was just a kid."
- Ly Thi Kim Huong, 18, ran away from home after her mother abandoned the family following years of abuse by her husband.
Of her American GI father, whose name she doesn't even know, Ly says: "When I was a child, he sent some gifts. So I know he loved me."
- Nguyen Quoc Dung, 19, knows only that his dad worked on an airbase at Phu Loi. The young man, who has trouble breathing because of water in his lungs, said:
"I just want to leave this country and go to school. I don't even know what I feel about my father. If I stay here, I can't get the medical treatment I need."
- Doan Van Dai, 21, an orphan until a Vietnamese family adopted him when he was 7, knows only that his father was a lieutenant colonel.
"I still love him very much. If I could, I would just want him to know that I still survive. I wish I could write a book about my life and have him read it," he says.
Today, these children of the war are among a group of 200 homeless who live in the "Amerasian Park." It is across the street from the External Affairs Office, where Amerasians must go to do the paperwork that eventually allows them to leave the country.
They could be a group of teenagers at a picnic - sitting on blankets under tall, graceful tamarind trees.
These Amerasians - homeless, orphans, runaways - have formed a family. They live, sleep and eat together.
Some work: selling newspapers, cigarettes or postcards. Others hang out. Someone trades clothes for a pair of sandals. No one has very much, but everyone gets by. They pool their money to buy food. Meals - usually rice and soup - are cooked in big pots over charcoal fires.
Raymond is one of their leaders, helping them fill out the forms that will eventually get them out of Vietnam and maybe, if they are very lucky, ultimately unite them with their fathers.
For Raymond and the others, who have little more than their dreams, the tide finally has turned. Now, every Amerasian in Vietnam has a shot at getting out.
When the Vietnam War ended in 1975 and diplomatic relations between Vietnam and the United States were severed, the plight of Amerasians got little attention.
It was not until 1982 that limited immigration became possible through a United Nations program - but only several hundred got out each year.
The breakthrough came in 1987 when Congress passed the Amerasian Homecoming Act. It is designed to allow all Amerasian children living in Vietnam and their immediate families - as many as 50,000 people - to come to the United States by March 1990.
Under the law, Amerasians are in a separate immigration category, exempt from refugee quotas.
But the Homecoming Act does nothing for the children of war living in other Asian countries, including some 13,000 Amerasians in Thailand who also face oppressive poverty and discrimination. Their fathers were Americans who were stationed there or visited during the war.
Now that almost 6,000 Vietnamese Amerasians and their relatives have left under the new law and another 10,000 are expected to depart by October, everything is changing.
They may not know who their fathers are - only about 10 percent of the Amerasians in Vietnam are able to identify their fathers, and even fewer will find them - but their faces have become their passports out of Vietnam.
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Amerasians at a glance
HOW MANY: An estimated 8,000 to 12,000 in Vietnam.
EMIGRATION: Amerasians have been coming to the United States since 1982 under a United Nations program. In 1987, Congress passed the Amerasian Homecoming Act, the first U.S.-sponsored program designed to allow all Amerasian children living in Vietnam and their immediate families to emigrate by March 1990.
ELIGIBILITY: Every Amerasian who leaves Vietnam must have an interview with a State Department official to establish his or her link to an American. The link can be based on documentation, physical traits or a credible family history.
UNSPONSORED: Amerasians spend six months in a refugee camp in the Philippines, learning English. Then they go to one of 50 American cities in 30 states (including the Bronx, Rochester, Utica and Syracuse), where voluntary agencies help them with housing, jobs, school and social-service benefits.
SPONSORED: Amerasians go directly to the United States to join their sponsors.
REFUGEE STATUS: Entitles Amerasians to such federal government benefits as transportation to the United States, which must eventually be paid back.
BENEFITS: In the United States, they are eligible for Medicaid and welfare as they meet state requirements.
PLACEMENT: Local social-service agencies help the refugees get into schools, find jobs and learn English.
CITIZENSHIP: Amerasians can become U.S. citizens after five years of residency.
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How you can help . . .
The Pearl S. Buck Foundation works with Amerasians throughout Asia. After a mention in a recent magazine article, it received about 300 letters, including 100 appeals to find a father, child or grandchild.
So far, says spokesman Mark Viggiano, the foundation has helped a Vietnam vet find his Amerasian daughter; reunited a Thai Amerasian with her American dad; and enabled a California woman to find her Amerasian grandchild in the Philippines.
Viggiano said the foundation, in its 25-year history, has received only 500 requests for help in finding a relative. In the last two years, he added, there have been 200 inquiries.
The Pearl Buck Foundation has the names of 6,000 Vietnamese Amerasians and can help veterans search for their children. The Buck Foundation also helps Amerasians living in countries other than Vietnam. For further information contact: The Pearl S. Buck Foundation, P.O. Box 181, Perkasie, Pa. 18944. 1-800-242-BUCK
Other groups that help tracking Amerasians include:
Bureau for Refugee Programs, Department of State, Washington, D.C. 20520. 202-663-l053. Contact: Ricki Gold.
Amerasian Registry, 95 S. Market St., Suite 300, San Jose, Calif. 95113. 408-292-6683. Contact: Bruce Burns.
Private Initiative, 608-263-4150. Contact: Dr. Judith Ladinsky. Or write to Dr. Ladinsky, c/o Americans for International Aid, 1370 Murdock Rd., Marietta, Ga. 30062.
For specific information about helping Amerasians in your area, write to:
InterAction, 200 Park Ave. R., New York, N.Y. 10003. Attn: Michael Kocker, Director of Amerasian Resettlement Program.