Now let me see if I've got this straight.
The Hollywood creative community gets together Sunday night for a little prime-time party, ostensibly for the purpose of honoring television's best and brightest for the 1988-89 season, and Robert Duvall and "Lonesome Dove" don't win?Yeah. Right. And Pete Rose finished second in the balloting for baseball's new commissioner.
But it's true. The Emmys, presented in Los Angeles Sunday night and beamed to a national audience on the Fox network, featured more than their share of upsets and surprises, not the least of which was the failure of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences to acknowledge the most critically acclaimed miniseries of the decade, CBS's "Lonesome Dove."
Based on Larry McMurtry's best-selling novel, "Lonesome Dove" was nominated for 18 Emmys and was considered a heavy favorite to win most of them - especially the award for Best Miniseries. And Duvall was supposed to be a shoo-in for the Best Actor in a Miniseries Emmy even though his competition included the likes of John Gielgud, James Woods, Ben Kingsley and Tommy Lee Jones.
But "War and Remembrance," a monumental ABC achievement but generally not considered the aesthetic success of "Lonesome Dove," won the Best Miniseries Emmy. And Woods, stunning in the title role of ABC's "Hallmark Hall of Fame" production, "My Name Is Bill W.," beat Duvall and the rest of the talented field in what was probably the biggest surprise of the evening.
Which is really saying something in an evening that was loaded with surprises: supporting actress Melanie Mayron winning for "thirtysomething"; someone other than Dan Larroquette (in this case, Woody Harrelson of "Cheers") winning for Best Supporting Actor in a comedy; "Day One" tying "Roe vs. Wade" for the Drama/Comedy Special Emmy; Carroll O'Connor winning for Best Actor in a Drama; Candice Bergen beating "The Golden Girls" for Best Actress in a Comedy; "Cheers" winning this late in its illustrious career; and the whole thing actually coming in at less than three hours.
A complete list of those winners is found elsewhere on this page. In the meantime, we've got a few awards that should have been presented during the telecast Sunday - but weren't:
Best Comedy Bit: Tongue-in-cheek promo for a new series starring the new Emmy accounting team, "The New Accountants." Seeing the ads my daughter exclaimed, "Hey, that looks like a really fun show."
Worst Costuming: Melanie Mayron's plunging neckline was not only embarrassingly revealing, it was unattractive. When she started her acceptance speech with "I hope my dress stays up," she was speaking for all of us.
Best Acceptance Gag: Last year it was Tony Danza. This year the Emmy-cast producers tried several creative ways to accept awards in behalf of absentee winners. My personal favorite was the acceptance simulation, which was done like a TV news simulation.
Best Reason to Contribute to Ongoing Efforts to Help Stamp Out Illiteracy Among Pop Music Stars: Paula Abdul.
Most Disappointing Performance By a Presenter: Arsenio Hall, who could have phoned his appearance in and still sounded more exciting.
Best Attempt at Pop Psychology: To the "thirtysomething" producer who said, "Follow your bliss and doors will open where you didn't know there were doors." Or something like that.
Best Film Clips: There were a lot of good ones, but I especially enjoyed the clips Bob Hope showed during his tribute to Lucille Ball. They weren't the old dry ones we've seen a million times, and they were funny.
Saddest Result: That Danny Glover didn't win something so we could've gotten a better look at that colorful, flowing robe he was wearing.
Oddest Presenter Pairing: Carl Reiner and Fred Savage. I mean, what do these two guys have in common, other than they both know Carl's son, Rob?
Understatement of the Night: James Woods on his victory over Duvall - "This is beyond belief."
Understatement of the Night II: Producer Dan Curtis on the "War and Remembrance" win over "Lonesome Dove" - "This is a major shock."
Most Fun of the Evening: The deliciously catty remarks by the un-nominated "Designing Women" when they made their collective appearance as presenters. Said Dixie Carter, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "It's just an honor to be part of the spirit of the Emmys."
Tenderest Moment: Candice Bergen's salute to her father, Edgar. "Dad, if you're watching," she said, "this is for you."
The Leave 'em Laughing Award: To Milton Berle, who'd ought to know how to do it by now, wouldn't you think?