If you watched the "MTV Music Video Awards" show on Wednesday night, you know why the basic cable network felt they needed to issue a formal apology for the performance of comic Andrew "Dice" Clay.
He was lewd, crude and socially unacceptable - even for MTV.But that's not surprising. Anyone who saw Clay's disgusting and offensive HBO special earlier this year knows that this guy is to comedy what the maggot is to the insect world. He's the lowest of the low. The worst of the worst. He makes George Carlin look like Mister Rogers - "Seven Dirty Words" and all.
The surprising thing is that MTV would offer this mind abuser a live prime time forum in front of a potential audience of millions of teenagers and pre-teenagers. And then they have the gall to react with horror when he goes off on his own and spews a steady stream of profanity, vulgarity and obscenity.
"We had assurances, repeatedly, that his material would be in line with our programming standards," MTV's Barry Kluger whined.
Well, that may be part of the problem, Barry. Maybe Clay took a look at some of the videos you guys play and deduced that you have no programming standards.
"Andrew Dice Clay did not do this in rehearsal and we were very surprised by it," Kluger continued. "Based on this experience, Andrew Dice Clay will not be appearing on MTV in the future."
Here's hoping MTV makes good on that threat. It would be nice to see someone on television take a stand against the onslaught of shock comedy. But I'm not counting on it. I mean, if these guys were weak enough to be convinced that Clay would play it straight for them in the first place, it's hard to believe they'll be able to draw a hard line when the inevitable pressure comes to put him on their air again - especially if there are any ratings to be gained.
-LOOKING AHEAD to a weekend of televiewing:
CARTOONS: Saturday morning will have a new and different look on ABC and NBC, with several new series and new episodes of old series on tap. The new shows include Camp Candy (6:30 a.m., Ch. 2), the latest "Pee-wee's Playhouse" rip-off, this time with John Candy as a camp counselor in a mix of live action and animation; Captain N: The Game Master (7 a.m., Ch. 2) is a cartoon about a boy who lives in the world of video games; Karate Kid (7:30 a.m., Ch. 2) and Beetlejuice (8:30 a.m., Ch. 4), two animated series based on hit movies; and Saved By the Bell (9:30 a.m., Ch. 2), a live-action sitcom that has been previewed recently in prime time. CBS will start their new Saturday line-up next weekend.
-SPORTS: CBS will cover the women's finals of the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament Saturday at 9 a.m. (Ch. 5), leaving the men's final to the USA Cable Network Sunday at 11 a.m. The reason CBS won't be there on Sunday is, of course, the regular season premiere of NFL Football. NFL Live! (10:30 a.m., Ch. 2) and NFL Today (10:30 a.m., Ch. 5) both return to the schedule with their pre-game interviews and clips. Then we can let the games begin, including Bengals-Bears (11 a.m., Ch. 2), Chiefs-Broncos (2 p.m., Ch. 2) and Cowboys-Saints (11 a.m., Ch. 5). Look for O.J. Simpson on "NFL Live!" and Bill Walsh on NBC's game coverage.
-SERIES: Paradise (Sunday at 8 p.m., Ch. 5) returns for its second season with a two-hour special that features Hugh O'Brian as Wyatt Earp, Gene Barry as Bat Masterson and John Schneider as Pat Garrett.And KSTU premieres College Mad House (Saturday at noon, Ch. 13), "Double Dare" for college kids.
-SPECIALS: KUED presents live coverage of The Governor's Conference on the Family (Saturday at 9 a.m., Ch. 7), focusing on Beverly Sills' keynote address at Cottonwood High School. On Sunday, KTVX repeats The Thorn Birds (2 p.m., Ch. 4), the acclaimed miniseries based on Colleen McCullough's best-seller.
-BAD GIRLS, last week's pop doc featuring NBC's Deborah Norville and a bunch of female criminals, accomplished several things. For one, it finished as the week's seventh most-watched television program, according to the A.C. Nielsen Co. - the best showing ever by a prime time news documentary. For another, it helped NBC to its 63rd consecutive ratings win. And for still another, it clearly established Norville as a force to be reckoned with in the world of schlock journalism.
And you wonder why Bill Moyers left commercial TV news for PBS.
The top 10 programs for the week were: 1. Roseanne (ABC); 2. Cheers (NBC); 3. The Cosby Show (NBC); 4. A Different World (NBC); 5. Dear John (NBC); 6. Wonder Years (ABC); 7. Bad Girls (NBC) and Who's the Boss? (ABC); 9. Golden Girls (NBC); and 10. Empty Nest (NBC) and Anything But Love (ABC).
The second 10 consisted of: 12. Night Court (NBC); 13. Designing Women (CBS); 14. Murphy Brown (CBS); 15. Murphy Brown (CBS); 16. Head of the Class (ABC); 17. Growing Pains (ABC); 18. 60 Minutes (CBS); and 19. Unsolved Mysteries (NBC) and 20/20 (ABC).
Scraping the bottom of the barrel were: 80. 21 Jump Street (FOX); 81. The Reporters (FOX); 82. Only Temporary (NBC) and It's Garry Shandling's Show (FOX); and 84. Beyond Tomorrow (FOX).