On Dec. 17, 1988, Robin Elson, a woman who had been severely battered and threatened with death by her husband, decided to kill him in order to save her own life. After he fell asleep in a chair, she picked up his gun and shot him in the back of the head.
Eleven months later, a jury in Long Beach, Calif., found her not guilty of murder. They decided that she reasonably believed she could not flee and had to kill him to protect her own life. The evidence that convinced them was based on what is called "battered women's syndrome."Victims of battered women's syndrome are systematically beaten and controlled by threats of more violence. They finally come to believe that they can never escape. They simply cannot see a way out of their situation.
An excellent introduction to the subject is Lenore E. Walker's "The Battered Woman" (Harper Colophon Books, 1979), and another is Susan Forward's, "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them" (Bantam Books, 1987), both of which are available in paperback.
Unfortunately, there are many more battered women than most of us are willing to admit. Recent studies indicate that as many as 50 percent of all women in America will suffer physical abuse in their relationships in their lifetimes.
Even in Utah, police departments spend about 30 percent of their time handling domestic disputes. The Utah Division of Family Services estimates that every year about 58,000 people in the state assault an intimate partner. Almost always the abuser is male.
It is encouraging that several bills before the Legislature are designed to deal with spouse abuse. These measures would require a police officer to arrest without warrant or issue a citation to a person suspected of committing an act of domestic violence. There are numerous stories around the country alleging that no matter what an abusive husband was said to have done, police officers merely threaten him. In many cases, the police have been known to visit the same home three or four times in the same evening.
Still no arrest.
These bills would also provide funding through a system of fines to finance treatment programs and train prosecutors. According to David Condie, program specialist in the Division of Family Services, there should be mandatory treatment for the perpetrators of abuse. He says studies show that where treatment is given, 70 percent do not commit abusive acts again.
One bill would require a no-contact period in which the attacker must vacate the victim's premises. Finally, a resolution accompanying the bills urges prosecutors to adopt a "no drop" policy, making it mandatory to prosecute the abuser even if the victim drops the charges. Let's hope all of them become law.
In the meantime, abuse is all around us. Verbal, psychological and physical. Most of us fail to realize that abusers come from a variety of backgrounds and professions. We may see the symptoms of an abusive relationship without understanding them.
For instance, we may see an element of fear. In a public setting a woman indicates through a look or a word that she is actually afraid of her husband. She is afraid to be late getting where he expects her to be, and panics when she realizes she is running late. She may be willing to do anything to keep him from getting angry.
We may see an element of control. Does she look to him constantly for approval? Does she feel the need to consult him before making the most insignificant of decisions? An abuser feels an incredible need to exert control over his wife. The control may be verbal or psychological, and then progress to physical.
We may see an unequal distribution of power in the relationship. Does he handle all of the financial transactions? Does he make all the decisions for the family?
Most women who are abused are reluctant to admit to it. If they do admit to it, we had better believe them. Who would want to call attention to such a desperate situation if it were not valid?
It is time for our society to stop validating abuse by accepting or ignoring it, and the media to stop validating it by portraying violence toward women. The rest of us should wake up and realize that this disgusting form of inhumanity may exist in our own backyards.