DEAR ABBY: You need some education regarding the politics of remarried families.
The terms "grandmother" and "grandfather" are titles of honor. In the remarried family, the "new wife" and the "new husband" are just that - they do not have any claim to grandparenting because they are not biologically connected to the grandchild. "Grandmother" and "Grandfather" are titles that belong only to the parents of the biological parents. They are not only titles of honor, but of respect for the historical and biological ties that have come down through the generations. They cannot be broken by divorce and remarriage. Biological ties remain from generation to generation.In a world where divorce and remarriage leave children wondering who they really belong to, and where adults change spouses with frequency, let's keep the place of grandparenting as an anchor for all concerned. The "new wife" and "new husband" would be wise to realize all this and back off - and quietly ask their grandchildren to call them by their first names. - NANCY THOMPSON CLOSE, ATLANTA
DEAR NANCY: You are, of course, entitled to your opinion - as is Kay Crenshaw. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: You had a letter in your column in The Dallas Morning News that I must comment on because the subject is very close to my heart: What should grandchildren call their stepgrandmother?
As a stepgrandmother, my advice is to let the grandchildren call you whatever they choose. When I remarried, we had five teenagers between us. After his two sons married and had children, they called me by my first name - Kay - because that is what their parents called me.
When I read the letter in the column concerning what grandchildren should call a stepgrandparent, two thoughts came to mind proving that what they call her really doesn't matter. First, my stepgrandson is the only left-handed person in that family. I am also left-handed; therefore, he tells people that he "takes after" Kay. Quite a compliment, because he's not concerned with whether I am his biological grandmother or his grandmother by marriage.
Second, two years in a row, one of my little granddaughters has crawled across her "real" (biological) grandmother and grandfather (my husband) to hop up in my lap to rest and be cuddled in my arms.
So good luck to that stepgrandmother who doesn't know what her husband's grandchildren should call her. May her children be as great a blessing to a second marriage as mine are to me. - KAY CRENSHAW, DALLAS