Have you noticed the newspaper ads for "Problem Child"?
The critics' quotes start with "Two thumbs up!" at the top of the ad, but if you look closely, the quote does not come from Siskel & Ebert. It comes from Captain Hook.Captain Hook?
Is this some new demented morning talk-show critic dressed up in a costume left over from a roadshow production of "Peter Pan"?
No, it's the latest stab at humor to come out of Universal Pictures' advertising department.
You may recall the film "Madhouse," which was released in February and for which Orion Pictures came up with a similar campaign.
The idea is to gently fool the public. If you don't look too closely - and who looks closely at movie ads? - you may think these really are endorsements from movie critics. And if you notice they are phony, hopefully, you'll chuckle instead of being offended.
But let's face facts - this ploy is used only for movies that are unlikely recipients of positive ad quotes from critics. In that regard, "Problem Child" certainly qualifies.
So we get:
"Don't Have a Cow! Just see this movie, Dude!" - Bart Simpson
"This kid is a real cut-up!" - Jason
"The kid gives me nightmares!" - Freddy Krueger
"I wish he were my son!" - Darth Vader
And in last week's ad:
"* * * * fun for the whole gang!" - Al Capone
"Hordes of fun!" - Genghis Khan
"A 10+! Junior had me in stitches!" - Frankenstein.
OK, it's an amusing ad campaign. (I especially like the exclamation points, don't you?)
But it is also a bit misleading.
- SO WHAT'S WITH this new "Disney Movietoons" logo that the Disney Studios is using for its "DuckTales" film?
First came Walt Disney Pictures, which still exists as the production company that turns out Disney's family-oriented films. Then, when the studio needed a production arm for its more adult movies, Touchstone Pictures was created.
Touchstone became so successful, however, that a third production company was needed to accommodate all the movies the studio wanted to make. So Hollywood Pictures was introduced with the recent release of "Arachnophobia."
And now comes Disney Movietoons. Does this mean Disney has four production companies now? Well, in a way.
Disney Movietoons is actually a subsidiary of Walt Disney Pictures, which specializes largely in animated features, though occasional G-rated live-action films sneak into theaters under that label.
Movietoons features, according to the "DuckTales" presskit, will "revive a wackier, more irreverent cartoonlike style most closely associated with the Disney animated shorts and comic books of the 1930s and '40s."
And just to make sure you get it, "DuckTales" has an old Donald Duck short cartoon - "Dude Duck" - preceding the film. But look closely at that short cartoon and compare it with the "DuckTales" feature and you'll see that there are a couple of glaring differences.
First, the slapstick humor of the short is sharper, pithier and funnier than anything the feature has to offer. "DuckTales" isn't bad, and there are some funny lines even parents will chuckle at, but in general it pales in comparison.
Second, and perhaps more noticeable, even to kids, is the difference in animation style. The shorts from Disney's classic era were more fully animated and fluid than any scene in "DuckTales."
So, even though Disney isn't saying so, it's apparent that the Movietoons label is also meant to distinguish inferior artistic efforts like "DuckTales" from the classical style of films like "The Little Mermaid" and the upcoming "Rescuers Down Under."
My guess is that big-budget animated features from Disney will not carry the Movietoons label.
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Bonnie Bedelia, talking to Knight-Ridder's Steven Rea about her "Presumed Innocent" co-star, Harrison Ford:
"He's like the Perry Como of actors."
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK II: Bob Hope, interviewed by Scot Eyman (Cox News Service), addressing the issue of today's foul-mouthed comics:
"Nobody tells dirtier jokes than I do in the locker room; I love it, it's humor, and I don't censor kids in comedy clubs, either. But I'm sorry, I prefer it the way it used to be, definitely."
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK III: Pia Zadora, who told John Pacenti (Associated Press) she abandoned acting in films and turned to crooning after the 1982 critical and box-office disaster "The Lonely Lady":
"I must have been stupid. It was something that was offered to me. It was a Universal picture, and there were a couple of reasons I liked it. It was a serious role about a writer. But I had to live with it. I had to live with it when it was a `Movie of the Week' on television. The week it was on I went out of the country and wouldn't return my phone calls."