DEAR ABBY: Don't ever stop printing letters from women involved with married men. In fact, please print one more - especially this one.
I am a well-respected professional in the mental health field, and it boggles my mind now to realize that I wasted five years of my life hopelessly entangled in a destructive relationship with a married man. I lost my marriage, my health, thousands of dollars and my self-respect as I desperately tried to make the impossible work. I was so needy, I was sure I couldn't survive without him. I was totally addicted to this man and in so much pain, I was numb.It has taken a year of no contact with him, therapy and great support from friends to start rebuilding a new life for myself without him.
Abby, please tell women that life is ever so much more beautiful outside an addictive relationship. Withdrawal is not easy, but it's the only hope and well worth it.
Reading similar letters over and over in your column convinced me that not all those women could be wrong - so I began to break through my denial. I hope you will print this as my gift to all the readers who inspired me to leave the hell I was living in. - THANKFULLY FREE
DEAR FREE: The "hell" you were living in has men in residence as well as women. It takes some people a little longer to learn that there's no free lunch, and forbidden fruit is often poisonous.
Sexual attraction predates marriage, but we still have freedom of choice, so should you find yourself sexually attracted to a married person, run in the opposite direction as though your life depended on it, because it usually does.
DEAR ABBY: I have been a male mail carrier for 20 years, and I have a message for all those lonely housewives out there: We appreciate your offer of a cold drink in the summer and a hot drink in the winter, but please, give it to us on the porch.
Abby, you have no idea of how many women wait by the door, wearing see-through negligees, short shorts and sometimes just a beach towel wrapped around them - and invite us in for a little cold lemonade or a hot cup of coffee.
Don't get me wrong; I realize most of them are only trying to be nice, but I wish they wouldn't ask us to come in the house. Any suggestions? - U.S. POSTAL EMPLOYEE
DEAR EMPLOYEE: Come on - by this time you should have figured out a friendly, inoffensive way to say, "Thank you, but it's against regulations to go into someone's home to socialize," or, "Sorry, I'm running late, but thanks for offering."
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)