Well, you either like Ernest P. Worrell or you don't.
Or - if you have children - you either tolerate him or you don't.
But if you're a movie critic, it doesn't matter. You see his movies whether you want to or not.
Fortunately, "Ernest Scared Stupid" is a slight step up for Jim Varney's TV-commercial-huckster-turned-movie-star. After going to camp, saving Christmas and going to jail, Ernest this time gets mixed up with nasty trolls in a Halloween yarn that appears to have been made on a slightly bigger budget than usual.
Of course, whether the result is a trick or a treat may depend entirely on your age. Those over 10, beware. (My 8- and 10-year-old sons enjoyed it; my 13-year-old daughter said if I ever take her to another "Ernest" movie she's running away from home.)
The story begins "long ago," with preacher Phineas Worrell (also Varney) condemning an evil, child-stealing troll to eternity beneath a creepy tree in a swamp outside Briarville, Mo.
The narrative then jumps to the present-day, where the only surviving member of Phineas' blood line is Ernest (we're told his descendants have gotten dumber with each new generation). He alone has the ability to bring the troll back, and, naturally, he inadvertently does so.
In a plot development that owes something to "Gremlins," the troll is intent on creating dozens of his own kind, which he does by turning kids into little wooden dolls and sticking them inside the tree . . . oh, never mind.
Suffice it to say that the film's last act has Ernest teaming up with the town's children to get rid of the ugly, two-nosed, slimy creature, while allowing time for Varney to briefly slip into some of his other favorite characters.
The only other recognizable performer here is Eartha Kitt, as an old crone who feels responsible for giving Ernest the means to release the troll and who helps him save the day.
Kitt, who is relaxed and funny and obviously having a great time, is easily the film's best element (at one point she calls Ernest "the great red-neck hope"); if only she'd had more screen time. I also liked the hokey B-horror flicks glimpsed under the credits, clips from actual '50s creature features. And to be fair, a few of Varney's asides as Ernest are amusing.
Still, this is strictly kiddie slapstick.
Of course, it's not "Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein."
It's not even "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken."
Think "The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters."
"Ernest Scared Stupid" is rated PG for comic violence, a mild profanity or two and some "scary" moments.