Mary Higgins Clark's latest mystery, "Loves Music, Loves to Dance," is a whodunit with a message: Personal ads are where serial murderers go to shop.
Clark's book debuted at the top of the best-seller list a couple of months ago, so a lot of people are getting her message, which she says she got from an FBI agent who spoke at a mystery writer's convention in 1988."What he said was - and I use this line in the book - `Yes, sometimes nice people meet nice people, but the personal ads are a mecca for the losers, the loners, the psychopaths and the serial killers,' " Clark recalled in a recent interview.
Well, a couple of friends of mine (former loners maybe, but not losers or psychopaths or serial killers, so far as I know) in San Francisco met and got married after one of them placed an ad in the San Francisco Bay Guardian, whose personal ads number in the hundreds in every one of the weekly paper's editions. So I know the ad route worked out well at least once.
I could never do it, because I'd feel guilty if I listed only my sterling qualities but left out the other stuff. I also think it's weird to advertise for a mate in a newspaper, even though it apparently works for some people.
Clark has said she would never answer a personal ad. Most of the people who use the ads in "Loves Music, Loves to Dance," are bounders who lie about their ages and occupations or who want to cheat on their spouses or murder their dates and stuff them in a freezer. It's a bleak assessment.
But personals remain popular. All types of journals, including the hoity-toity New York Review of Books and a magazine published by Harvard University, include personals in their back pages. Private Eye, Salt Lake City's alternative weekly, started running personals in March, and since then "a couple hundred" ads have been placed, says editor-publisher John Saltas.
Each week, hundreds of people respond to the Private Eye "Eye Catchers," with women receiving more calls than men. In the current issue, a guy who says his new name is "FUN" writes to the editor that he met 12 new women in a single week.
"You see, I'm from out of state and I didn't know anyone," R.P. from Sandy writes. "I am now a new person and have never felt better about myself or other people."
Saltas says testimonials like R.P.'s come regularly. Private Eye has gotten thank-you letters from all kinds of people, including doctors, lawyers and professors from Weber State University, the University of Utah and Brigham Young University. "We've had letters and phone calls come back saying, `hey, thanks a million,' " Saltas says.
"It's sort of a white-collar way to meet people. A lot of people have an attitude that if they resort to personals, they are caving into the idea that they can't get a date. There's a stigma. But in other cities, this is sizzling. People are just too busy to go out and sit at the corner bar all night."
Salt Lake police Sgt. Ed Lyman says the city's sex crimes division has not received any complaints relating to personal ads, nor has Saltas. But meeting a stranger always warrants caution, so Private Eye follows the example of many other weeklies whose personal ads are a popular part of the paper, and prints a warning.
"Upon setting up an encounter, use common sense and make sure someone knows where you are going (perhaps a public, well-lit place) and when you are expected to return. If you have concerns about the individual, leave," the warning reads.
The paper also cautions people about releasing their last names or telephone numbers and has set up a phone-mail system that allows ad respondents to contact their potential dates with total anonymity.
Most papers include some kind of advisory. The Deseret News and Salt Lake Tribune dating service ads start with the notice, "It is wise to investigate and perhaps seek references from all organizations concerned with your private life."
That's good advice in any context.
Aside from the potential danger, there's always the humiliation factor. Another friend of mine in San Francisco placed an ad in the Bay Guardian and got more than 30 written responses and photos, 27 of which she immediately flipped into the trash. She then invited her friends to critique the three finalists, and boy, did we.
To justify this, my friend said any new guy would have to pass muster with her friends eventually. But if I ever found out a man had passed around my letter and photograph to five or 10 of his buddies - and if I found out they said the kinds of things we said - I'd probably run off to a convent. - The Deseret News welcomes comments from readers on this topic or others pertinent to the Single-minded column. Please address letters to Single-minded, c/o Marianne Funk, Deseret News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, UT 84110; or contact her or the writer of the column at 237-2100.