So not only does Charles Coody have to go double bogey-triple bogey to louse up a title that already has his name on it; and not only does he have to take a cut in pay of $33,912.50 - or about $1,000 per minute at the unraveling finish; but then, after all that, he has to get on an airplane bound for Colorado and sit next to the guy who beats him.
Some days it doesn't pay to get out of the sand trap. Sunday was one of those days for Charles Coody. Twenty years after his most crowning achievement in golf - when he held off Johnny Miller and Jack Nicklaus, no less, to win the 1971 Masters - and "That's Life" is playing in the background as Coody finally finds Amen Corner, and it's in Utah.The 17th and 18th sidehill holes at Jeremy Ranch have tormented golfers from the day the golf course was built 10 years ago. But never have they tormented anyone more than Coody, whose finish yesterday afternoon in the 10th annual Showdown Classic makes what Ben Smith did in 1988 look almost heroic. Smith, like Coody, had a stranglehold from the start of the '88 tourney until he got to the 53rd and 54th holes, where he went bogey-bogey and donated first place to his favorite charity, Miller Barber.
As for Coody, his favorite charity happened to be Dale Douglass, a longtime friend and, as bad luck would have it, his traveling companion Sunday evening to Vail, Colo., where both will participate in this week's annual Jerry Ford Invitational.
For decades, the Coody's and Douglass's have traveled and socialized together - first on the regular tour and, since 1987, on the Senior Tour. "Joyce and I are very good friends with Lynette and Charles," said Douglass as he accepted the $52,500 that was vacated Sunday afternoon by Coody. "And we'll still be friends. I'll let him hold the trophy once in a while."
As the Douglass's left for the airport, Joyce said, "It should be an interesting flight. We'll be discussing - and they'll be cussing."
Douglass, who now has seven Senior Tour titles to his credit, said he was too busy at the close of the tournament worrying about the rest of the field to sympathize with what was happening to his good friend and Legends of Golf partner (he and Coody teamed to win the Legends in 1990), or to even concentrate on passing him by.
"When we came to 18 I knew I had to make par to beat those other guys in the house," he said, referring to Don Bies and George Archer, two players already in the clubhouse with 6-under-par totals, just one in back of the 7-under Douglass had going to the final tee.
At the time, even though he'd made double bogey on the par-three 17th, Coody, at 8-under, still had a one stroke cushion and his destiny in his own grip.
Then, after Douglass's drive came up 10 feet short of a fairway bunker on the right of the fairway, Coody hit a drive that started out left and kept turning. By the time it stopped, it was halfway down the sagebrush ravine to the left of the fairway. All that remained was a blast that left the ball still in the hazard, an iron to the sand trap fronting the green, a short sand shot, and three putts. Instead of $52,500 and the Showdown trophy, Coody had a tie for fourth place, a check for $18,587.50, and the empathy of the hundreds of golf fans lining the 18th fairway, all of them saying, in so many words, "I thought I was the only one who could do that."
Coody came into the postgame press tent with as much enthusiasm as he'd have for his upcoming flight for Colorado. "I don't really care to talk much about what happened," he said, "that's life. I was in good enough shape when I got to 17. All I had to do was make a couple of pars . . . even a couple of bogeys."
By contrast, Douglass's entrance into the press tent was more flambouyant.
"I'm backing in here, I want you to notice that," he said, moonwalking his way to the rostrum.
Douglass said he hasn't been playing that well lately, his driver has been borderline atrocious, and he had a cold all week that made it so he couldn't wear his contact lenses and couldn't see much of what was going on.
Your basic winning formula.
"I've never won one like this," he said, "when someone else has had so many problems."
Coody, asked if he'd ever had such a Murphy's Law finish, said, "I don't even want to think about it." He had problems enough. He had a plane to catch.