DEAR PROFESSOR: I have come across a story that has all the earmarks of an urban legend.
Last weekend, while visiting my parents in Detroit, my sister, who was in town from New York, related the following story about her assistant's friend. She swears this story is true.My sister's assistant told her about a female friend who bought a saguaro cactus from an Ikea (home furnishings) store in New Jersey.
The friend brought the cactus home to her apartment and was very happy with it until one day it started pulsating.
She thought this was bizarre for a cactus, so she called several different places to see if experts could tell her what was wrong with it.
After the public library and a couple of nurseries were unable to help, she called a botanist at the natural history museum. He told her to immediately take her cactus outside, douse it in gasoline and set it on fire.
My sister's assistant's friend did as she was told, and much to her horror, after she set the saguaro alight, dozens of burning tarantulas crawled out of the charred wreckage of the cactus.
Somehow, this story seems rather farfetched to me. I was wondering if you had heard anything about lethal cacti in the past. - SARAH P. BEITING, KALAMAZOO, MICH.
DEAR SARAH: Farfetched? How can you say that? A home-size saguaro, a supply of gasoline in the apartment and a stampede of burning tarantulas. . . . It sounds just like a typical day in New York to me.
And, of course, the cactus wasn't technically lethal, except to the spiders.
But seriously, folks, we all know that this is an urban legend, do we not?
In fact, some readers may remember that Kalamazoo is where it all began, at least as far back as my own information on "The Spider in the Cactus" goes.
I'm sure if you ask around in your hometown, Sarah, you'll find someone who remembers the Kalamazoo version of your cactus story.
You see, back in 1989 I received my first American report of the story from a man in Kalamazoo who heard that the plant had been purchased locally at an outlet of Frank's Nursery and Crafts.
During the next couple of years many other versions surfaced throughout the United States, some mentioning Frank's, others claiming the cactus had been dug up illegally in the des-erts of Mexico or the southwestern United States.
Wherever it came from, the wiggling, vibrating, trembling, humming, squeaking, buzzing etc. cactus was usually torched and thus found to be a home for a horde of deadly spiders or scorpions.
The prototype for the legend circulated in Europe as far back as the early 1970s. Over there, it's usually called "The Spider in the Yucca Palm," which is even the title of a German collection of urban legends that was published in 1990.
The legend was especially popular in Scandinavia, while in England the Marks and Spencer retail chain was said to be the supposed importer of spidery cacti in 1985.
Last year, the release of the film "Arachnophobia" probably gave the story a new burst of popularity, and at the same time the Scandinavian import company Ikea became the target of the stories.
In May 1990 an Ikea representative explained to a reporter in Pittsburgh, "Our plants are grown in an enclosed environment. They are well-sprayed, and they are repotted before they arrive at the store."
Despite their care, last February in a New York Post interview another Ikea representative said, "Every time we open a new store, this rumor hits. We have yet to have anyone call who actually has one. It's always a friend of a friend."
So, you see, Sarah, you're up-to-date with your version of the story, even if you missed the Kalamazoo connection.
"Curses! Broiled Again," Jan Harold Brunvand's fourth collection of urban legends, is now available in paperback from Norton. Send your questions and urban legends to Brunvand in care of this newspaper.