DEAR ABBY: A couple of years ago, my best friend's husband (I'll call him "Burt") put his hand up my dress after an evening out with friends. I froze and went numb. He'd had a few drinks, and I later assumed he had mistaken me for his wife who was sitting next to me. (I'll call her Gina.)
Two years have passed and nothing was said about the "incident." It took a while to resume any social engagements as a couple, but time helped to put the incident in the past.Now, after a disagreement with my husband that Burt found out about, he arrived at my house in the middle of the day! He told me he had always been attracted to me, and he'd like our friendship to go further. I was shocked and told him I never meant to lead him on and would never jeopardize my marriage by having an affair with him, or anyone else. I said I valued my friendship with Gina - then asked if he was in the habit of fooling around with Gina's friends. He said that he had - but only once - then named the woman and asked me to promise not to say anything to my husband or his wife.
Burt said he felt like a fool, was totally embarrassed, but didn't I feel flattered?
I told him no - I felt insulted. Then I asked him to leave. I was fairly shook up, so I called my confidant who advised me to tell my husband, which I did. We've been avoiding this couple ever since, and Gina can't understand why. What excuse can I give her when she asks us to go out as a couple? - FRIENDSHIP ON HOLD
DEAR FRIENDSHIP: Tell Gina the truth - that Burt came on to you, you told your husband, and now you'd feel uncomfortable going out with them. If Gina doesn't know by now what kind of a man she's married to, it's time she did, because sleeping with a man who is fooling around can be hazardous to her health.
DEAR ABBY: I work in an office where the desks are very close together. Our company is very much like a small family.
Our problem is a woman who has a very offensive body odor. Apparently, she thinks one shower a week is more than enough. She wears large amounts of perfume the rest of the week. I am almost positive she is not aware of how bad she smells because she has complained about others, so I doubt that she would see herself in this letter.
She has been with the company for a very long time, and so far no one has dared to tell this poor woman about her "problem." (She is not the type to take criticism very well.) She is not a sloppy person with a limited wardrobe. She has plenty of dresses, but maybe she's short on underwear.
If you print this, I'm sure she'll see it, and maybe she will take the hint. - BREATHLESS CO-WORKERS
DEAR BREATHLESS: If a person smells bad, it would be a kindness to tell that person. Please do not regard it as "criticism" - you would be doing the offender an enormous favor.
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