Dear Abby: My boss and I have a $100 bet about the word "irregardless." I say it's a word. He says it is not.
When we looked it up in the dictionary, it said that "irregardless is nonstandard," which my boss interprets as meaning it is not a word. I say that irregardless is a WORD, though perhaps not very proper.Also, he says that "ain't" isn't a word; I say "ain't" is a word because people SAY it, and it communicates a meaning, though it may not be proper.
I am wondering if we should have defined "word" before we shook hands on this bet. What do you think? Keep in mind that my boss is an attorney and has a tendency to delve into the tiniest details. I, however, am a simpler person, irregardless of what others might say. Please help us.
- Speechless In Minnesota
Dear Speechless: "Irregardless" IS a word - it's a blend of "irrespective" and "regardless." However, it is not used by those who are meticulous about their grammar.
"Ain't" is indeed a word; it's a contraction of "are not," "is not" and "am not."
Although disapproved of by many, and more common in less educated speech, "ain't" is used orally in most parts of the United States.
It's also used for metrical reasons in popular songs: "It Ain't Necessarily So," "Ain't She Sweet?" "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used To Be." And lest we forget, "It Ain't Gonna Rain No More, No More" and "I Ain't Got Nobody."
Dear Abby: I knew you'd get tons of mail on the wind chimes issue. Wind chimes are as much a musical choice as boom boxes, the Beatles or Wagner.
For three years, I consoled my brother in Boston (by phone) when two sets of neighbors (one on either side!) installed wind chimes. He complained civilly to his neighbors. One cared, the other didn't. Forget the police. What serious harm can come from the tinkling sound of innocent wind chimes?
In summer, rather than suffer sleepless nights, my poor brother kept his windows closed. He finally moved. Free at last!
- Urban Villager
Dear Villager: A person living within hearing distance of neighbors has no right to pollute the atmosphere with any kind of sound.
Recently I read that a man shot his neighbor dead because he refused to make his teenage son stop dribbling his basketball under the neighbor's window. Which brings to mind the long ago sound of MY son pitching a baseball at the garage door for hours on end . . . Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Fortunately, we all survived it.
Dear Abby: Well, here I am again! I am the widow who wrote to you saying that I had just had a mastectomy and was very apprehensive about getting intimate with a man again. I signed my letter "Inhibited and Embarrassed."
Abby, you filled an entire column with wonderfully reassuring letters from women who had been down the same road - and included one from a loving husband who reaffirmed the fact that it didn't make one speck of difference to him.
Now I am no longer filled with apprehension and am deeply grate-ful to you for publishing my letter.
To those who cared enough and took the time to reply, instead of "Inhibited and Embarrassed," I am now ready to sign myself . . .
Taking a Chance on Love
Dear Abby: Shouldn't you have told "Born to Breed in Kansas," who had a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old and was considering having a third child, that the world is desperately over-populated?
- Ruby Davis in Tacoma
Dear Ruby: Yes, I should have. And if you want to chastise me for that clinker, you may find yourself at the end of a very long line.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long (business-size), self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)
1992 Universal Press Syndicate