On this scariest of holidays, here are a few things that frighten your local television editor . . .
- I'm afraid that when my 5-year-old is in high school, the "kids" on "Beverly Hills, 90210" will still be in high school.- I'm afraid of Tuesday nights on ABC - soon the alphabet network will be following "Roseanne" with a sitcom starring Roseanne's current husband, Tom Arnold.
- I'm afraid that viewers believe that newspaper reporters are really as they're portrayed on television - all of whom seem to be raving escapees from the National Enquirer Home for the Disturbed.
- I'm afraid that Patrick Stewart (Capt. Picard) will quit "Star Trek: The Next Generation" after this season and they'll put Jonathan Frakes (Commander Riker) in command.
- I'm afraid that one week, "60 Minutes" will do an expose on "20/20," "PrimeTime Live" will do an expose on "Street Stories," and "Dateline NBC" will do an expose on "48 Hours."
- I'm afraid that millions of Americans will be basing their votes in the presidential election on the candidates' appearances on "Larry King Live."
- I'm afraid that Bill Cosby will buy NBC and he'll foist more garbage like "You Bet Your Life," "A Different World" and "Here and Now" on the public.
- I'm afraid that someday I may begin to take some of our local television journalists as seriously as they take themselves. (Nah . . . couldn't happen.)
- I'm afraid that, even after the election, all these political commercials will continue to run out of sheer inertia.
- I'm afraid that Delta Burke and Gerald McRaney will come to my house and beat me up.
- I'm afraid we may never get rid of Bryant Gumbel.
- I'm afraid both my VCRs will break at the same time.
- I'm afraid that there are thousands of kids out there who want to grow up and be like Geraldo Rivera.
- I'm afraid that the networks will soon be canceling "Homefront" and "I'll Fly Away."
- I'm afraid that no local station will ever pick up "The Rush Limbaugh Show" and I'll have to continue to field all these calls.
- I'm afraid that some local station will pick up "The Rush Limbaugh Show" and I'll have to watch it.