The art-drenched, oversize diner is Haussner's, an anachronism anchoring the corner of Eastern Avenue in Baltimore's Highlandtown section. Renaissance works of art define the character of the restaurant - a sort of Metropolitan Museum-wannabe environment that snares a poseur tag. Volumes of paintings look like they ought to be included in everybody's art history text, but the listings are curiously absent from the book's index.
Familiar art. Unfamiliar artists.And Haussner's is typical Baltimore, so everyone says.
A town described as plain and purple, a drive-by collection of spare row houses and spare lives.
The city by the bay that tries to make a statement but only ends up generating questions.
The kind of town that welcomes folks like the Tulls, the eccentric, stuck-in-time family described in Anne Tyler's book "Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant."
The Tulls, writes Madeleine Blais, were the kind of people who "kept trying to have dinner together and they never once gather in harmony. Even when they were children and the mother never really cooked. She would open a tin can and take out a piece of Spam or something. When that son Ezra opens his restaurant, and serves all those thick soups and comforting stews, he's serving food like he never had at home."
Haussner's is the real-life "Homesick" restaurant, the inspiration for Tyler's book or the eating establishment that most closely replicates Ezra's place in the Tull family saga.
And comfort is what Haussner's is all about - a sort of soothing, warm fuzzies zone of eating. It's a restaurant where schmooze takes over and clocks stop ticking.
The Baltimore landmark is home to a bevy of beehive-coiffured waitresses who seem like an adopted part of Haussner's family.
"Oh, bless your heart, hon," says my server, Helen. "You can ask me anything, just not my age, but someone else may tell you I'm 75. Been working here for the best 22 years of my 45 in the business. Elizabeth Appel, now she's 83, but she still works two or three shifts a week. Hon, there's no place like Haussner's. Mrs. H. is just like a mother to all of us."
Haussner's boasts an employee loyalty list that would make a fast-food restaurant cringe.
"We have a 61-year veteran, several 50s and 53 people that have 45 years with us," says Francis George, daughter of the founding Haussner family. "That's a lot of stability in the business, and our customers appreciate that."
Customer Jess Roberts agrees.
"I drive over here every month for dinner. It's 60 miles round trip. It's not just the food but the atmosphere it creates. It just can't be measured in words."
Writer Blaise tries by describing the restaurant as a place that "plies its customers with out-of-date food in bountiful portions."
The menu boasts a German-inspired base with sauerbraten, wiener schnitzel and goulash but extends to signature Chesapeake fare like crab cakes and Smithfield ham. Only at Haussner's could you order a full pound Kansas strip steak or seasoned Hasenpfeffer smothered with spaeztle.
Every entree is balanced by a choice of two vegetables, including red cabbage, potato dumplings, sauerkraut, creamed spinach and candied yams.
Desserts include the mile-high varieties of German chocolate or coconut cake, ethnically inspired goodies like cannoli and cream-laden strawberry or custard pies like Grandma used to make.
Or like Ezra Tull's soothing offerings at the Homesick Restaurant.
A landmark like Haussner's is alive and thriving in the midst of a competitive, upwardly mobile society, but then a town like Baltimore bypasses the climb.
*****
(Recipes)
Cross Street Market Crab Soup
2 quarts water
1 can (28 oz.) tomatoes
1 can (6 oz.) tomato sauce
1 bay leaf
1/4 cup pearl barley
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
11/2 teaspoons Old Bay seasoning
2 stalks celery, diced
1 medium onion, chopped
1 ham shank
1 beef bone
Salt and pepper to taste
4 blue crabs, cleaned and quartered
1/4 head of cabbage, chopped
1 medium potato, peeled and diced
2 cups fresh or frozen mixed vegetables
1 pound claw crabmeat
In large stock pot, combine water, tomatoes, tomato sauce, bay leaf, barley Old Bay, celery, onion, ham shank, beef bones, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 1 hour.
Add the blue crabs; continue cooking another 30 minutes. Add the cabbage, potatoes and mixed vegetables. When the vegetables are tender, add the claw meat and simmer a little longer. Pick crabmeat from shanks of blue crab and add to soup; discard backs. Makes 8 servings.Each serving contains 182 calories; 4 gm fat; 756 mg sodium; 93 mg cholesterol.
Gertie's Crab Cakes
1 egg
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
Dash of Tabasco sauce
1 pound backfin crabmeat, picked over for shells
1/4 cup cracker crumbs
Vegetable oil for frying
In blender or mixing bowl, combine egg, mayonnaise, mustard, pepper, Old Bay, Worcestershire and Tabasco. Mix until frothy.
Place the crabmeat in a bowl and pour the egg mixture over the top. Sprinkle on cracker crumbs. Gently toss together, taking care not to break up the lumps of crabmeat.
Form the cakes by hand or with an ice cream scoop into 3-inch wide, 1-inch thick rounded mounds. Do not pack the crab-cake batter together too firmly. Keep as loose as possible, yet still holding form.
Heat oil in a deep skillet or fryer to 375 degrees. Pan fry crab cakes, a few at a time, until golden brown on all sides, about 3 minutes. Remove with a slotted utensil to paper towels; drain and serve at once.
Oyster Fritters
Vegetable oil for deep-frying
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
3/4 cup milk
2 quarts shucked oysters with liquor, drained and liquor reserved
2 tablespoon vegetable oil
Tartar sauce and lemon wedges Heat oil to 375 degrees in a deep-fryer or wok.
In a large bowl mix together flour, baking powder and salt.
In a small bowl beat the eggs lightly with the milk, 3/4 cup of the reserved oyster liquor and vegetable oil. Stir into the dry ingredients.
Gently stir the drained oysters into the batter. Using two spoons, drop oysters, one at a time, into the hot oil. (You can cook 12-15 oysters in the wok at a time.)
When the fritters are just golden and not yet brown, remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Keep warm until serving. Serve with tartar sauce and lemon wedges if desired. Makes 12-16 servings. Each serving contains 237 calories; 8 gm fat; 408 mg sodium; 127 mg cholesterol.
Corn Pudding
2 can (15 oz.) cream-style corn, or 4 cups corn kernels
2 cups milk
6 eggs, separated
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a saucepan heat the corn and milk together about 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Off heat, beat the egg yolks and add to corn-milk mixture with the butter and sugar.
In a bowl beat the egg whites until soft peaks form. Fold the whites into the corn mixture.
Pour into a buttered 2-quart casserole. Bake 30-35 minutes; serve warm. Makes 10-12 servings. Each serving contains 135 calories; 6 gm fat; 231 mg sodium; 138 mg cholesterol.
Poppy Seed Pound Cake
1 cup butter
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
1/2 cup poppyseeds
1 cup sour cream
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time beating well after each one. Sift dry ingredients and add to egg mixture, alternately with sour cream. Stir in poppyseeds and flavorings; mix well. Pour into greased and floured 9-by-5-inch loaf pan. Bake at 300 degrees for 11/2 hours. Makes 8 servings.Each serving contains 794 calories; 35 gm fat; 366 mg sodium; 247 mg cholesterol.
Cannoli with Hazelnut Cream
2 cups ricotta cheese
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup hazelnuts, chopped
1/4 cup pistachio nuts, chopped
6 cannoli shells
1/3 cup powdered sugar Cream ricotta with sugar and vanilla; adjust amounts to taste. Stuff prepared cannoli shells with cream filling; dust with powdered sugar and serve or chill until serving time.