The French reporter with red-dyed hair and cateye glasses is working her way through three pages of questions while Charles Barkley, eyebrows raised, watches in amusement. Small wonder. It's All-Star Weekend in Orlando, and for the NBA's resident Dennis the Menace, the world is his playground.
She asks about the Olympics. "I hope," he says, with a conspiratorial look, "you French people don't say anything bad about us, 'cause we'll take it out on you, too."Next question (from the heart): "What do you feel you need to do in order to -" she begins earnestly.
"Only three things you have to do," interrupts Barkley, "is stay black, die and pay taxes."
But can all those USA Basketball stars get along?
"These Olympics gonna be fine. We gonna be a bunch of mad scientists. We gonna be rolling," says Barkley.
Getting the hang of it now, the reporter smiles. Barkley winks. Take your seat and buckle up. Pro basketball's mad scientist is on a combustible roll of his own, stirring things up in the lab while the NBA office awaits the next explosion.
Even by his own tightrope-without-a-net standards, this has been an eventful year for Sir Charles. The Barkley Chronicles, 1991-92:
First, there was his book, "Outrageous." Though Barkley is listed as the book's co-author, after publication he claimed he was misquoted. Subsequent reports said the publishing house was upset over Barkley's statements because they hurt book sales.
The rest came in rapid-fire succession. He accused the Sixers of keeping white players on the team to mollify white fans in Philadelphia. After deciding to wear No. 32 the rest of the year in honor of Magic Johnson, he was asked by a television reporter about fans who questioned his motives.
"You think I give a flying (expletive) about what they think?" said Barkley.
His most publicized incident, though, was the fight outside a Milwaukee bar on Dec. 22. Barkley says three men followed and harassed him, and he struck a man in self defense. After breaking a heckler's nose - and his own hand - Barkley was charged with misdemeanor battery and disorderly conduct and spent four hours in jail.
"The cell was too small. I couldn't even move around," he told Sports Illustrated. "My advice to anyone over six feet tall is not to commit any crimes."
The case hasn't gone to trial yet, but there are rumors that charges may be dropped.
As the All-Star Game neared, Barkley was back in the news, reportedly saying Magic Johnson shouldn't take part in the All-Star Game. "I never said he shouldn't play the game. The nitwits in the media try to turn what I said around, but I can deal with it," said Barkley.
Don't stop yet. After a March 8 loss to Chicago, he took exception to Coach Jim Lynam's criticism of a missed three-point shot with 24 seconds left, and the team trailing by three. Afterward, Barkley bristled, saying he'd take the shot again in the same situation and added that if the Sixers don't like it they could trade him. "They can trade me or they can kiss my (expletive), " he said.
Barkley also criticized Philadelphia newspaper reporters for questioning his judgment on the shot. "I'm a 90s nigger," he told reporters. "The Daily News and the Inquirer have been on my back. Everything I do is wrong. They want their black athletes to be Uncle Toms. I told you white boys you've never heard of a 90s nigger. We do what we want to."
Most recently, Barkley made the news when he broke his own nose. To the Sixers' relief, that injury was sustained on the basketball court, not the street, in a game against Phoenix Mar. 13.
As big a headache as Barkley can be, nobody in the NBA questions his value as a drawing card. The league simply deals with its temperamental star as the problems arise, handing out fines when he goes too far ($39,000 worth last season). Commissioner David Stern smiles in a fatherly way when Barkley's name comes up. "Charles and I have often not seen things the same way," he says, unperturbed.
Though the Sixers have a sorry 31-38 record - only ninth-best in the Eastern Conference - they are the seventh-best road draw in the NBA this year. Last year, Philadelphia was the fifth-best draw on the circuit, behind only Chicago, Boston, Detroit and Los Angeles. The obvious reason is Barkley.
Barkley is also a magnet for the media. Writers plan their winters around him. The standard M.O. for covering the Sixers is to get a spot close to Barkley and turn on the tape recorder. However, covering him can be a grueling job. Reporters spend nearly every waking moment following him, for fear of missing something controversial that will turn into a major story.
"It gets old. He wears you out," said one NBA reporter.
This year, more than ever, Barkley's act could be wearing thin in Philadelphia. Ongoing problems with management, particularly over acquiring help for the enormously talented Barkley, have come up regularly. Asked when the Sixers will win a championship, Barkley says, "When I get some he'p, baby."
Nevertheless, Barkley keeps his sense of humor. Controversy? Who, moi? "Only time there's gonna be controversy is when my check doesn't come on the 1st and 15th. Then we got a problem," he says.
Well, OK, maybe there's a few other tiny problems. The Sixers, who play the Jazz tonight at 6 p.m. in the Delta Center, snapped a five-game losing streak by beating San Antonio on Monday. But they remain in danger of missing the playoffs for the first time since 1988. They sold out only 10 of 41 home games last season; they've sold out just six games so far this year.
With Philadelphia sliding and the salary cap rising, this summer could well be the time for Barkley to make a clean break in a new town, although he says, "I don't worry about trade rumors," he shrugs. "I'm playing in Philly."
So what exactly is the story with Barkley? Is he a good person with strong opinions? A headache that won't go away? A man merely addicted to newspaper ink? Another enormous talent with an ego to match?
"Everybody has an ego," he says, "even those who can't play. The only difference is some people have a reason to have an ego."
Players and coaches around the league are generally fond of Barkley. They seem to view him as a tempestuous but likable sibling. After games, he can be seen in the crowded hallway beneath The Spectrum, hugging opposing players and talking softly with them. "I don't know why you couldn't like him. He seems like a fun guy," says Jazz coach Jerry Sloan.
Adds Jazz forward Tyrone Corbin, "He's a nice personality; he's just a guy who speaks his mind. Personality-wise, he's easy to get along with. He just says things the way he thinks. Charles is the way Charles wants to be."
Whatever opinion people have of Barkley, they can't accuse him of being a prima donna. While Michael Jordan feuds with the NBA over the rights of his image on T-shirts, Barkley brushes it off as a matter of small change. He doesn't criticize Jordan on the matter. "Michael Jordan does whatever he wants to do," says Barkley. "I respect that in a man."
While Jordan skips the All-Star media session to play golf, Barkley handles any and all comers easily. That despite the fact that he feels he has been treated roughly by the press this year.
A reporter from Barcelona, obviously unaware of what he's got himself into, introduces himself. "You guys cleaned that place up yet?" says Barkley with a scowl. "I was over there (in Barcelona) last summer and you really needed to clean it up."
The reporter blinks.
"Nine-hundred dollars a night for me to bring my family there for two weeks. That's a little steep," Barkley scolds in mock disgust. "Would you pay $900 a night to stay there?"
The reporter squirms, not sure whether he's supposed to answer.
Barkley gives the subject a momentary rest. "Say hello to everybody in Barcelona. Can't wait to get over there. Just hope that's real gold you usin'."
And on . . . and on . . . and on . . .
Whether Barkley will ever give the NBA office, reporters or his mouth a rest is doubtful. Driving at high speed with the brakes gone and doors open is the only way he's ever traveled. As long as he can make that frighteningly quick move to the basket and rock the foundations with a dunk, and as long as there are newspapers to record his latest outrageous move, there won't be any resting. But, as he says, he can deal with it.
"I don't like doin' this stuff," he tells reporters clustered about him. "I like meeting people. That's why I smile all the time . . . playin' basketball. I play basketball and make $4 million a year. I should smile all the time."