The popular behavior of "bashing" in today's world is counter to true conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ, said Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Council of the Twelve.
Speaking Saturday morning, Elder Ashton said the antidote for bashing, which "hurts feelings, demeans others, destroys relationships, and harms self-esteem," is charity, "the pure love of Christ." (Moroni 7:46-47.)"Real charity is not something you give away," he emphasized. "It is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive."
Elder Ashton encouraged family members to recognize the good and praiseworthy within the family. "Family loyalty will emerge when we reenforce the good and the positive and bridle our negative thoughts as we seek after those things that are of good report."
He said the Savior set the pattern through quiet example to say nothing or to be silent in stressful times rather than to spend time and energy bashing for whatever purpose.
Elder Ashton said that charity in many ways is a misunderstood word. "Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped," he said.
He pointed out that most people are well aware of the areas in which they have failed or fallen short. "What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us and who believe we're trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to rooting for each other?" asked Elder Ashton.
He said that the adversary encourages criticism and rages in the hearts of the children of men, and stirs "them up to anger against that which is good." (2 Ne. 28:20.)
While faultfinding, bashing, undermining, judging, humiliating and taunting may not equate with grievous sin, "it nevertheless neutralizes us spiritually. The Spirit of the Lord cannot dwell where there is bickering, judging, contention or any kind of bashing," he said.
By contrast, the Savior taught the virtues of love, compassion, forgiveness and long-suffering. "In other words, those qualities that enable us to deal with our fellowman more compassion-ately. . . ."
"Be one who nurtures and who builds," he urged. "Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart and who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.
"Let us open our arms to each other, accept each other for who we are, assume everyone is doing the best he or she can, and look for ways to help leave quiet messages of love and encouragement instead of being destructive with bashing."