You don't like Charles Grodin? Neither does he.
The weasel who turns Mia Farrow over to the devil worshipers in "Rosemary's Baby"? That loudmouth who shows up on talk shows to insult the host?"A jerk," Grodin calls that guy. "Abusive."
But, he adds in a hurry, that isn't the real Charles Grodin. That's a role. He and Dave and Johnny are friends. Really. Offscreen he's a happy husband. A devoted father. He can't even stand a dirty joke.
Grodin may help set the record straight with "How I Get Through Life: A Wise and Witty Guide" (St. Martins, $17), a collection of anecdotes and advice separated by quotes from the likes of Mark Twain and Proust. The tone is common-sense and play-nice - sort of "Everything I Need To Know I Learned at the Actors Studio." The mood is upbeat.
He's not a jerk, Grodin says. He just plays one on TV.
Q: How's the book doing?
A: It's doing way better than the first one ("It Would Be So Nice If You Weren't Here"), which made one best-seller list one week. I wondered, since the first book was more showbiz-focused and this is life-focused. People know me as an actor. But why should I be someone who wrote a book about life? Why not you? Why not anyone?
I was somewhat self-conscious at first, but I got over it. Over the past 10 years my life has gotten dramatically better, and I tried to determine why. That's what the book's about. It's told humorously but it has a serious intent. There are all these topics we have in common - marriage, sex, fear of flying. The ones I'm doing well in I say how I do it, and the ones I'm not doing well in, I tell why. And right now I'm doing very well. I have this movie that is the biggest movie in America, "Beethoven," and I have a play I've written playing in New York, "One of the All-Time Greats."
Q: Speaking of "Beethoven," what gave you the courage to play opposite a dog AND kids?
A: Well, I'm trying to entertain, and this is a family movie. You have to have a dog and children in a family movie. And I'm proud of it. Along with "Heaven Can Wait" it's one of the most fully realized movies I've made.
I sometimes read critics and it's as if they think all films are intended for 50-year-olds. Well, this is for 11-year-olds, and their parents. This isn't "Europa, Europa."
Q: The book's message seems to be pretty basic stuff: Do unto others and all that.
A: It is, and I try to tell it from my own take, putting humor on it. It is a humorous book with a serious intention. A lot of this stuff is considered bland and simplistic - but if you do it . . .
I have a friend who had a rough childhood, and bought "How To Win Friends and Influence People," and it said, be a good listener. He was, and suddenly he was student body vice president. It really works. Practicing the principles benefit you, and people are glad to be around you.
Q: Weren't you afraid of the risk of coming out and saying some of these things?
A: What risk?
Q: That you're going to be saying "Be nice, follow the Golden Rule" and people's reaction is going to be "Yeah. Right."
A: No. Sure, years ago when I was promoting the consciousness-raising effects of friendship with Carol Burnett I got some of that, that cynical "You've got to be kidding." But those are people who need this the most.
Q: It is sort of nervy though, putting your thoughts alongside quotes from Thoreau and Mark Twain.
A: Well, my first Broadway show I played opposite Anthony Quinn. Recently I worked with De Niro. Intimidation is not one of my qualities. I hope I'm not arrogant. But I know I do have something to offer, and although I respect others, I'm not intimidated by them.
Q: You play noodges and schnooks in the movies. On talk shows you fight with the hosts. What are people going to think when they read this upbeat book?
A: They'll be shocked. Absolutely. It's so ironic. In movies for years I was like a funny jerk. . . . This guy on TV is the meanest, most difficult, contentious, abusive person alive. But it's a part. And you almost have to be like I am to play that part.
It's a comedy thing that Dave and Johnny and I have done for years. Some people will watch and think that something is going wrong. I think I ought to get an Emmy nomination.
Some people think, Grodin - what a miserable guy he is. But perceptions are misleading. We almost always assume the guys who play the good guys in movies are good, the bad guys are bad. Often it's the opposite. One's acting, and one's life.
I know from experience, the people who are so-called wonderful are often not . . . I understand Mahatma Gandhi was a terror around the house. Well, I'm not. When I come in the door, people are glad to see me.
Q: How do you get through life?
A: Treat everyone as if they're coming down off drugs. The worst anyone will say of you is that you're unusually sensitive.