You might not believe one of the "Do-it-Yourself Disasters" stories published in a recent issue of National Enquirer under the headline "Brick blunder made me a human yo-yo."
It turns out to be the old tale about a man who gets clobbered repeatedly while trying to move some bricks from a roof to the ground using a rope and pulley.First, the man loads the surplus bricks from the roof into a barrel that is suspended by a rope tied off on the ground. After climbing back down, he unties the rope, but the loaded barrel is heavier than he is and yanks him off his feet.
Holding on tightly, the man is clipped by the falling barrel as he passes it on his way up. Once the barrel strikes the ground, its bottom falls out. The man is now heavier than the barrel and falls, striking it on his way down.
As a final injustice, the man lands on the bricks, lets go of the rope, and the falling barrel hits him for a third time.
This slapstick story is most often told in the form of a letter from a workman to his employer that concludes, "I respectively request sick leave."
If you haven't heard of "The Barrel of Bricks," then you haven't paid attention to urban legends; it's one of the most ubiquitous long-lived stories of all. In my book "Curses! Broiled Again!" I cataloged variations going back to the turn of the century, with some sources saying it's much older.
The same plot with all its ups and downs has shown up as a stand-up comedy routine, in poetic form and in photocopies that purport to be made from the actual letter describing the accident.
I've collected dozens of published versions of the story. They come from company safety memos, newsletters and periodicals of all kinds. It has also been illustrated by cartoonists and set to music by folk singers.
One song composed in Irish dialect begins, "Dear Sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of me plight. For, at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight. Me body is all black & blue, me face a deathly grey. And I write this note to say, why Paddy's not at work today."
If "The Barrel of Bricks" story describes an accident that really happened, so far nobody has identified the firsthand source.
So why should inquiring minds now be expected to believe yet another version of this well-worn hilarious-accident story? Well, for starters, the tabloid published a color photo of the supposed victim, with his name and hometown.
Besides the fact that the story has been around for decades, there are a few other problems with that "proof." For one thing, the bricks in the photograph are spilling out of a large and intact trash can, not a barrel with a broken bottom.
Another discrepancy in the photograph is that the rope is loosely tied to one handle of the can, which couldn't possibly have balanced it for lifting. Also, the accident victim is sitting on the barrel - not on the spilled bricks - and his bandages are snowy white and obviously fake.
To further argue against the Enquirer's veracity in this brick-blunder matter would be like, well, like shooting fish in a barrel. But probably nobody believes these tabloid stories anyway, and several readers sent me the clipping, recognizing it as a mere legend.
What the item proves once again, though, is how adaptable this legend is in modern folklore. Other versions I've filed, besides describing the standard brick-moving task, include stories in which workers are trying to move parts for a radio tower or an oil-drilling rig, or repairing a wall of a military installation's chow hall.
One of the best recent treatments of the story is by cowboy poet Waddie Mitchell, who has recited his version about moving a barrel full of horseshoes at storytelling festivals and on public radio. Mitchell's poem concludes:
"As I lay there in pain unable to move, I again lost my presence of mind. As I moaned and groaned I forgot myself, and turned loose of my hold on the line. The last thing I remember, before waking up here on this bed, was that empty barrel falling fast, and heading right straight for my head."