Down at the end of a lonely street, Elvis is alive and eating pasta. So's Elvis, two doors down - the one with the Scots accent.
Englishman Kim Bridges and Scotsman Abie Lane are rival Presley impersonators in south London, sweating and swiveling for rival Italian restaurants on Streatham High Road.Rowdy crowds of whistling and laughing fans who pack Il Carretto and La Pergola take the competition as tacky fun. But for Elvis, Elvis and the rival restaurateurs, it's in deadly earnest.
"Elvis is my way of life," said Bridges, 32, grabbing a complimentary bite at La Pergola between performances.
He started at La Pergola 18 months ago but has been a working Elvis for 12 years. He's the proud father of Aron Elvis, 6, Sam Presley, 4, and 10-month-old Michaela Lisa-Marie.
He seems comfortable in tight satin blue, with gold cross hanging heavy on a hair-flecked chest.
"I get a lot of stick (gibes) directed my way in the streets. People say, `Oh, I thought you was dead.' "
Ten yards south at Il Carretto, the 39-year-old Lane pokes at some cold canneloni as his stage-manager wife adjusts his massive false sideburns.
"I'm more than just a fan," said Lane, upholstered in sweat-drenched blue. He snaps at the suggestion he is an impersonator: "I prefer the word `tribute.' "
On his jet-black hair: "Yes, I dye my hair. Elvis dyed his hair." On his skinny frame: "Elvis wasn't always plump, you know. Elvis was built like a cat."
Lane came to Il Carretto less than six weeks ago - following on the short-lived acts of an Irish Elvis and Pakistani Elvis.
He said The King had ancestors in Scotland, and there is a village in the Highlands named Presley.
"Elvis was Scottish! I read a lot into that, you know," he said proudly.
Owners Abraham Hulusi at La Pergola and Giovanni Monachello at Il Carretto both claim they had the first Elvis. And the best.
"Elvis was my own idea," Hulusi says, then says it twice again. "As you can see, my Kim Bridges looks like the King, he sings like the King, he acts like the King. Next door they only have a real Elvis picture."
Next door, Lane bops from table to table with a high-energy rendition of "Don't Be Cruel." He leaves that to his boss, who bristles at the mention of Hulusi.
"He stole my ideas, but what can I do?" said Monachello, a suave operator in suit and tie. "Things are getting . . . too vicious. We're real Italians here doing real Italian food. That fella next door is Turk Cypriot. His food is not genuine. The fella is - how I put it? Completely insane."