There was one thing I didn't like about the Clinton administration's decision to debate Ross Perot.
Instead of asking an opposition senator or congressman to go up against the vice president, the Clinton handlers let Perot speak for the other side of the NAFTA issue. They have to realize that now the door is open it's going to be impossible to keep Ross out.The little Texas anteater, as we in Washington like to call him, has been elevated to equal rank with the White House. There is no reason to assume that if he discusses NAFTA today, he won't want to challenge Clinton's team to debate the health-care bill and the balanced budget, too.
"This is Ross Perot. Tell the president that I'd like to take on Al Gore and get him to give me his whole mind about the crime bill next week."
"We're sorry, Ross. The vice president is not available."
"He can't refuse. I am the acting opposition mouthpiece for the common man and the only one in the United States who will give it straight to the American people."
"Mr. Perot, the Republicans are getting angry that every time we raise a national issue we invite you to debate it. Since you weren't even elected dog-catcher, they can't understand why you should get the time."
"There's always someone trying to get old Ross. Well, let me tell you something. I'm the only one who knows anything about anything in this country, and I have my own colored graphs to prove it.
"If you won't send me Al Gore, let me have a go at Dave Gergen, Vernon Jordan or Hillary."
"Ross, Mr. Clinton has great respect for you, but he is not going to help make you into a future presidential candidate."
"OK, if he feels that way, I'll buy the time and declare war on Mexico. How do you feel about that?"
"Don't get so upset. Would you settle for debating Secretary of State Warren Christopher on the situation in Somalia?"
"I'd rather have the president."
"Well, you're not going to get the president. These debates have gone to your head."
"You better take me seriously. A recent survey showed that more people knew Ross Perot than knew Mayor Dinkins. That should say something about me being a nobody. Incidentally, I would like to debate the issue as to whether I should be permitted to debate or not. . . . Let me finish."
"We'll get back to you."
"I'll be at Larry King's studio at 9 o'clock. You can send whomever you want. But I better warn you that I'll be loaded with graphs and photographs of the Rio Grande River. Let the American people decide who is more prepared to run this country - Bill Clinton from the inside or Ross Perot from the outside. It's time Americans had a reality check."