I'll never forget my son's first joke.
He strutted into the kitchen and mumbled like W.C. Fields, "I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn't raise da dough." He'd just learned that gem from Grover, the furry blue "Sesame Street" creature.The innocent pun immediately hit an oven-mitted nerve. What was hilarious to him was serious stuff to this wanna-be baker. The truth was, hard as I tried, my bread wouldn't rise . . . all those wasted hours spent making hockey pucks, door-stops and props for soap-opera kitchens.
And here I was, a Utah girl living in the East. A fraud. Had I no pioneer heritage? I wanted so much to be the earth mother my neighbors "just knew" I was. (You know how non-Utahns sometime picture US to be - Betty Crocker with a beehive.)
There was, of course, a flower blooming among these weeds of woe - I was fast becoming the Julia Child of salt-dough wreaths, those rock-hard shellacked kitchen-kitschy things once all the rage. And I wasn't even using the recipe for hardened bread dough. I was using my mother-in-law's best dinner-roll recipe. A single teaspoon of salt and MY dough petrified.
Yes, I eventually learned to "raise da dough," but not before baskets of bad buns and bags of boulder-like bread. I left many a loaf print on kitchen walls from Colorado to Connecticut.
So last week I wondered, out loud, when I was visiting the Rhodes International people: Do beginning cooks know how to bake bread?
Some do. Some don't.
Many young cooks combine careers, families and hobbies. Something has to give. Maybe that something is the scratch cooking that culinary novices were once expected to learn.
And that's OK. All the guilt I felt about not being able to bake was extremely unhealthy. Cooking should not be bad for your mental health.
So, open the freezer and grab that frozen dough. Jenna Jackson, a Rhodes Bake-N-Serve representative, says anyone can successfully bake bread - and in the most amazing shapes.
And you don't have to be a Rhodes scholar.
In 1961, food broker Ken Farnsworth Jr. contacted Herbert C. Rhodes, a Portland, Ore., entrepreneur who had developed a high-quality frozen bread dough. In his supermarket travels, Farnsworth had noticed large numbers of shoppers in the food section buying frozen dough.
After some franchise negotiation, Farnsworth brought the Rhodes dough to Idaho. A year later, Farnsworth was traveling from store to store in Utah, baking bread in his portable oven.
After Rhodes' death in 1980, some of the franchises around the country, faced with frozen-dough price wars, dropped the high-quality ingredient specifications insisted upon by Rhodes. Eventually, Farnsworth acquired the Rhodes rights and restored the dough to Rhodes' original recipe.
Today Rhodes Bake-N-Serve is the largest-selling brand of frozen dough in the state and in America. The Utah-based company has 360 employees and two plants in Caldwell, Idaho, and Columbus, Wis. Rhodes dough stretches into 40 states and throughout Canada.
On each bag of Rhodes dough is a printed "no-fault guarantee." If consumers need help or aren't completely satisfied, they can call a toll-free number and talk to a customer satisfaction person at the Salt Lake office.
Farnsworth told of a Saturday morning when he answered a call at the office. On the line was a frustrated first-time baker needing help. The thoughtful man was going to surprise his ill wife with dinner - including hot rolls.
Farnsworth talked him through the necessary steps. He received a thank-you call a few hours later from the proud chef.
So, if the yeast's not yeasting, rather than spending hours (even years) of frustration, you can pick up some frozen dough.
Consider some of the accompanying recipes for edible masterpieces. My favorite is the sandwich roll that lets you really "pig out."
(By the way, if any of you purists out there refuse to break down and use the frozen stuff, Aunt Win-ni-fred's roll recipe is wonderful.)
I was talking with my now-teenage son about the Rhodes company. His haunting comment: "I bet they make a lot of dough!"
*****
PORKY'S SANDWICH
4 Rhodes Texas Rolls, thawed
1 egg, beaten
2 raisins
Roll two Texas rolls into a flat circle for head. Place on cookie sheet sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Roll one Texas roll into rectangle shape and cut in half diagonally to make two triangles. Press short base of triangles down into top of head and flop over for ears. Cut one Texas roll in half. Cut in half again and form two tear-drop shapes and slice as shown for toes. Position under head. Divide remaining half in two. Roll one piece into rope and curl for tail. Place above head. Form last piece into a flat circle and cut out nostrils with the end of a straw; position on face. Add raisins for eyes. Brush with beaten egg and allow to rise for 30 minutes. Just before baking, widen nostrils again with straw or a clean pencil eraser. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Allow to cool. Slice horizontally. Spread with mayonnaise. Layer with lettuce, tomatoes, thin sliced onions and cooked bacon.
PIG
1 loaf Rhodes Bread Dough, thawed
1 egg, beaten
1 raisin
Roll one loaf into large flat rectangle with rounded corners. Cut one corner off as shown. Pinch nose to create flared snout. Place on cookie sheet sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Divide corner piece into two large pieces and one very small piece. Roll one large piece into a flat rectangle and cut into two triangles for ears. Attach short base of ears to head, one on top of dough, and fold tip over, and one underneath, folding tip under. Shape the other large piece into four tear drops and slice toes as shown. Position under body. Roll small piece into a rope and curl for tail. Position on pig. Add raisin for eye and cut mouth. Brush with beaten egg and allow to rise for 30 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until golden brown.
SOUP BOWL
1 loaf Rhodes Bread Dough, thawed
1 egg, beaten
Cut loaf of bread dough in half for large bowls, into thirds for average size soup bowls. Form into a ball. Place on cookie sheet sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Brush with whole beaten egg. Cover with plastic wrap that has also been sprayed and let rise until double in size, about 2 to 3 hours. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool; slice off top. Hollow out bread bowl and fill with favorite creamed soup or dip.
*****
(Recipes)
FAST-RISING ROLLS
2 packages (2 tablespoons) active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm water (115 degrees)
1/4 cup sugar
6 cups flour, scooped
1/2 cup nonfat dry milk (instant or regular)
1 tablespoon salt
2 cups warm water
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup oil
Soften yeast in 1/2 cup warm water to which sugar has been added. In large bowl stir together flour, dry milk and salt. Making well in center, add 2 cups water, yeast mixture, eggs and salad oil in that order. Stir until well mixed, adding more flour, if needed, to make a soft dough.
Cover; allow to rise in warm place until double - about one hour.
Turn out onto lightly floured board. Knead a few times to make dough easy to handle. Pinch off smooth round pieces about egg size; arrange 2 inches apart, on greased baking sheet. Cover lightly with clean towel; allow to rise 20 minutes.
Bake 10 minutes at 400 degrees, or until golden brown. Dough may be used for cinnamon or other kinds of rolls. Makes 3 dozen.
- Each serving contains 116 calories, 3.5 g fat, 18 g carb, 187 mg sodium, 12 mg chol.
- From "Mormon Country Cooking" by Winnifred C. Jardine
JENNA'S ORANGE ROLLS
12 Rhodes Dinner Rolls
Grated peel of 1 orange
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
Citrus Glaze:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon melted butter
2 tablespoons fresh juice
Grate orange rind and mix with sugar. Dip thawed rolls in melted butter and coat heavily with rind/sugar mixture. Place on cookie sheet or muffin tin that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Cover with plastic and let double in size. Remove plastic wrap.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Remove from pan and place on rack. Frost with citrus glaze while warm.
For Orange Swirl Rolls see directions below. Dip rope into sugar/rind mixture and continue directions for orange rolls.
For Pull-Aparts use 12-14 rolls cut in half and a greased 12-inch deep pizza pan. Drizzle with butter and sprinkle with rind/sugar mixture. Follow baking directions for Orange Rolls.
For Bundt use 20 rolls cut in half and placed in a greased bundt pan. Drizzle with butter and sprinkle with rind/sugar mixture.
Follow baking directions for Orange Rolls, but bake Bundt for 30 minutes.
- Each serving contains 209 calories, 11 g fat, 29 g carb, 260 mg sodium, 23 mg chol.
- From Rhodes Bake-N-Serve
SWIRL ROLLS
1 package Rhodes Texas Rolls, thawed but still cold
Roll and stretch each Texas roll into 12-inch rope. Roll in flour and form a coil. Place in muffin cup, cover with plastic wrap that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray and allow to double in size. Remove wrap and bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. Brush with melted butter if desired.
PRISCILLA'S VEGETABLE CHOWDER
3 cups potatoes, cubed
1 large onion, diced
1 stalk broccoli chopped
1 large carrot, grated
2 stalks celery, chopped
3 cups water
1 tablespoon chicken flavored bouillon
1 cup grated Cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
White Sauce:
3/4 cup margarine
3/4 cup flour
1 quart milk
Put vegetables, water and bouillon in large soup kettle. Simmer until potatoes are just tender.
Make white sauce by melting margarine in large bowl in microwave. With a wire whip, stir in flour. Cook mixture until it bubbles, about 2 minutes. Slowly add milk, stirring constantly. Continue cooking, stirring every three minutes, until mixture thickens. Add to vegetables.
Simmer combined white sauce and vegetable mixture for 10 minutes longer. Add cheese, salt and pepper. Stir to melt cheese and serve in bread dough bowls.
Serves 8.
- Each serving contains 404 calories, 24 g fat, 36 g carb, 750 g sodium, 24 mg chol.
- From Rhodes Bake-N-Serve.
BUTTERSCOTCH BUBBLE LOAF
24 Rhodes Dinner Rolls, or 16 Rhodes Texas Rolls, Semi-Thawed
1/2 box butterscotch pudding mix (about 1/3 cup, non-instant)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 cube) butter or margarine
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Spray bundt pan with non-stick cooking spray. Cut rolls in half and dip in dry pudding mix. Arrange rolls in bundt pan. Alternately arranging and sprinkling pecans, sprinkle remaining pudding mix and pecans over the top.
Combine brown sugar and butter or margarine and heat together until butter is melted (microwave about 11/2 minutes) and a syrup (not granular) is formed. Pour over rolls and cover with plastic wrap that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Let rise until double or even with top of pan. Remove wrap. Bake at 350 degrees 30-35 minutes.
As soon as you take the rolls out of the oven loosen the sides of the pan with a knife and invert bundt pan onto serving plate.
- Each serving contains 149 calories, 7 g fat, 20 g carb, 250 mg sodium, 0 chol.
- From Rhodes Bake-N-Serve
FILLED BRAID
8 Rhodes Texas Rolls or 1 loaf Rhodes Dough, thawed
Choice of filling
Thaw dough until warm and bubbly. If using rolls, knead into a ball. Roll out into 12-inch by 18-inch rectangle, using a little oil to prevent sticking.
Using a clean ruler, start at the top of the rectangle and roll the ruler down the dough marking about every 13/4 inch.
Mark the rectangle into thirds lengthwise using the ruler to indent. Place filling in center. Using pizza cutter or knife, cut along horizontal lines (do not cut through center third).
Fold top and bottom rows toward filling, then begin to braid at top by folding left over right, right over left, continuing to end.
Finish by stretching last strip and tucking under bottom end. Support braid with both hands and place on greased cookie sheet. Brush with beaten egg if using main-dish fillings. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise for 30-45 minutes. Remove wrap. Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes. Glaze with thin frosting for sweet fillings.
VARIATIONS:
Fruit fillings: Use 21-ounce can of fruit pie filling
Cream cheese Filling: Combine 8 ounces cream cheese and 1 tablespoon of softened butter; add 1/4 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon lemon juice. Beat until free of lumps. This is good combined with fruit filling or add 1/4 cup raisins.
Main dish fillings: pizza ingredients or canned chili with grated cheese.
- Nutritional content varies, depending upon filling used.
- From Rhodes Bake-N-Serve
- Editor's note: Filled bread with blanched, chopped broccoli and mozzarella cheese was a popular bakery favorite when I lived in Connecticut.