I've always admired people who drive Mercedes-Benz station wagons.
It strikes me that anyone willing to spend as much money as I spent on my first two houses combined for such a utilitarian device must have their priorities straight - not to mention their bank accounts.The thing is, the 1993 Mercedes-Benz 300TE 4Matic wagon I've been driving this past week doesn't really make the kind of social statement that most of the other Mercedes models do - a statement that presumably justifies the very high price of admission.
For example, if you drive a 600SL, M-B's two-seater convertible, it tells the world that you are wealthy and successful but still a bit wild and crazy. You like to drive very fast with the wind in your hair and you have no need for passengers beyond your significant other of the moment.
If, on the other hand, you drive a 600SEL, it says you are wealthy and successful but also a conservative, no-nonsense, family person who can be trusted with other peoples' money.
But the 300TE wagon makes no such statement, unless spending a huge sum of money on a car that makes no statement is a statement in itself, which it probably is. We are getting into deep philosophical waters here.
Let's face it, though, you can buy a very nice station wagon that does virtually everything the 300TE does and with the change left over put a couple of kids through college.
Anyway, people who pop for the M-B wagon can't be doing it for status alone. During this past week of driving a "pearl grey metallic" 300TE wagon, never once did a fellow motorist glance enviously my way, wondering, perhaps, what it was that I did for a living that would support payments on a $64,000 car.
Oops. I let the price slip out too soon. I was going to hold back awhile on the bad news so maybe you would keep reading a bit further. Now that the bottom line is out there in black and white, it sort of renders further discussion moot. I can hear you saying "I don't care how great Knudson says that station wagon is. For 64 big ones it should be great! How could it not be great!"
Well, I understand and I agree, up to a point. On the other hand, have a little pity for those in the highest tax brackets. They have to spend their money on something, so it might as well be a $64,000 station wagon.
But paying huge money doesn't mean you won't find some faults with the car. For instance, take the seats, please. The first time I took my place behind the wheel I was shocked at their firmness; we're talking wooden church pew here.
After a couple of days with the car, though, it became clear that the unyielding nature of the M-B seats translates into less fatigue over the long haul. I could envision driving this car to New York without suffering the usual cramps, stiffness and lower back pain. Your mother was right, sitting up straight is good for you.
The rest of the interior struck me as a bit spartan. Other than the wood on the center console, there are few cues that this is one of the world's most expensive cars. Where most luxury cars costing far less cosset you in supple leather, the Benz has "M-B Tex," presumably a vinyl material.
The 300TE is powered by a 3.0 liter OHC six-cylinder engine mated to a four-speed automatic transmission, a package that will not win its owner any stoplight drag races. Mash the pedal to the carpet and . . . nothing happens, a lag reminiscent of early turbos. But once the RPMs build up to where the engine is operating in its power band, things become more satisfactory. It just takes awhile.
While I would never dream of
breaking the speed limit, I suspect one could cruise all day at 100 mph in this car without a qualm. It is heavy and stable, giving the impression it was carved out of a single ingot of steel. With antilock brakes, 4WD, dual airbags (the passenger bag takes the place of a glove compartment) and reinforcements and crush zones built into the structure, this is one of the safest automobiles on the road, and it transmits that to the driver.
Handling is heavy. This is not a cut-and-thrust kind of vehicle. TheBenz wants to stay in its lane and soldier along, letting its (presumed) inferiors jockey for position. The steering wheel is no longer reminiscent of those found on buses, but it is still oversize and turning effort is considerable. The ideal for this car is to get on the freeway, point it at Florida, set the cruise control and relax.
Except that you will have to make a lot of petrol stops along the way. The 300TE is EPA rated at 17 city and 21 highway but I averaged only 15. One could say that anyone who can afford this car won't care how much they spend for gasoline, but I don't buy that theory. Wealthy people are not necessarily profligate.
Also, the Benz carries a $1,000 gas guzzler tax, something that would grate on me whether I could afford it or not.
It has been said that today's luxury-car buyer wants a big dose of value with his helping of status. Is this car really worth $64,000? Not to me and maybe not to you. But that's the wrong question. If you can easily afford it and you need a station wagon, then it probably is. People who buy this car won't be comparing what else they could buy for the money.
A few more random thoughts about the 300TE:
- My test car had a folding, rear-facing seat that worked really well for a couple of kids. Trouble is, it's a $1,170 option. It should be standard. (For that matter, at $64,000, a trip around the world and a membership in the country club should be standard.)
- The exterior mirrors are shaped differently, something I've never encountered before. The driver's side mirror is horizontal and the passenger side is vertical affording the best rear view on both sides of the car. It isn't very pretty but it is very practical, a metaphor for the car as a whole.
- The single windshield wiper is an engineering triumph. Just watching it is entertaining.
- The rear hatch lid screws itself down so you don't have to slam it. A nice touch.
- The stereo is a good one, but there is no CD player, an item that is becoming standard in luxury cars costing far less.
- The only way to lock the doors is with the key from the outside. GM's remote electronic system is superior.
- The alarm that tells you to buckle your seat belt is a tinny buzzer that would sound cheap in a Yugo. In a $64K Mercedes, it is a felony. Come on, Mercedes, spend a few bucks on a discreet chime.
- Despite the rise of the Japanese luxury marques such as Lexus, Infiniti and Acura, there is something about that three-pointed star on the hood that carries a ton of prestige. Mercedes has earned its reputation over many decades and it's still there.
- Unlike the best luxury cars, using the 300TE's dashboard switches, levers and knobs is not intuitive. You have to learn where everything is and how it operates. Finding the power window switches at night is not easy. There are a few switches on the dash that I never did learn what they were for, but then I'm not big on reading manuals.
- All other carmakers should just copy the M-B shifter and the M-B cruise control. They are the best. Period.