In an ongoing effort to keep our readers in the know, I recently wrote a column that brought to light an important, serious new problem facing our community. That is, we must find a new name for our mayor.
Er, I mean a new name for the mayor's - our - new professional Grade AAA (farm fresh) baseball team - the Portland (soon to be Salt Lake) BEAVERS.Why a new name? Because we can do better.
Because a rodent with an orthodontic problem has nothing to do with our community.
Because it is a slow news week.
Apparently, the column awoke a sense of civic pride and duty in our readers because many of them mailed their name suggestions to the Deseret News. And just in time, too, I might add. Last weekend, Joe Buzas, the owner of the Beavers, said that he WILL rename the team when it moves to Utah, but the man needs our input because he is, after all, an outsider. All he knows about Utah is that it is willing to give him a ton of money to move his team, which frankly is reason enough to love a state.
With all this in mind, here are a few of our readers' ideas to help old Joe:
- RELIGION. Not surprisingly, the religious connection was a biggie when it came to naming a baseball team (there is, you know, a rather famous church based here). Salt Lake Bishops ("That would satisfy the Catholic community as well," says reader Dave Pullem of Heber City.) Salt Lake Mission. Salt Lake Missionaries. "How's this," writes Pullem. "Missionaries convert two errors in 4-3 win." Salt Lake Prophets ("I don't know why, but this one just sounds cool," says reader Craig Powell of Salt Lake City.)
But let's get serious here.
- POLITICS. Some names went for political statements. For instance, Deedee's Follies. Undoubtedly, this is a reference to Mayor Deedee Corradini's support for using $18 million of our tax money to build the Beavers a stadium. Some people are upset about this, but it's a standard practice. Our government is always giving fistfulls of cash away to people who want to start a new business. It's a good dig, but not much of a name, which might be why the suggestion was sent anonymously.
- COWBOYS AND SUCH. The Cowboy angle was another big favorite, too. "Heaven knows, there are enough of 'em in this state," noted one reader, as if he were talking about a pest-control problem.
Pullem suggested several Cowboy-related names, and his big selling point was their headline appeal, which we in the journalism community sure appreciate. Salt Lake Ropers ("Ropers lasso Reds . . . Ropers tie up Indiana. Ropers knot it in ninth . . ."). Salt Lake Stampede ("Horses gallop, win 7-3. Stampede runs wild, tramples Omaha 12-4. Stampede corralled, lose 5-7. Stampede off and running, leads league . . . " Other suggestions: Utah Cowboys. Salt Lake Rustlers.
- ANIMALS. Animal names were a big item of course. Fortunately, they were not the traditional, overworked Lions, Tigers, Bears, etc. Our readers went for originality. Salt Lake Stallions. Salt Lake Allosaurs ("How many other teams are named after dinosaurs? Instant fan appeal at all ages," says Powell).
Salt Lake Rattlesnakes. Powell writes, "Can you imagine opening night - 10,000 fans in the seats, each with a rattle at the ready for the other team's batters to come to the plate." Salt Lake Elk. Salt Lake Antelope. Salt Lake Trout. Salt Lake Crickets.
- HYBRIDS: We hate to bring this up, but the Beavers might as well know from the start and be warned that they're not the first pro baseball team to try it here in Salt Lake City. The Salt Lake Bees (RIP) and Salt Lake Gulls (RIP) used to live here, but, well . . . Willis and Adelaide Cowles of Salt Lake City suggested that we combine the names of those teams for the new team: The Salt Lake Bee Gulls.
Another Salt Lake reader, Robert Lee, suggested The Salt Lake Ligers. "For many years," writes Lee, "the main attraction at Hogle Zoo was Shasta the liger (the offspring of a lion and a tiger). "Shasta was nationally known, being so rare . . . Liger is a unique animal name that has not been used for a professional sports team."
- THE HUMOROUS. Salt Lake Bullwhackers. - Pat Barnum, Murray. Barnum was full of ideas: Snowmen, Sergeants, Sandlotters, Conservatives, Deseret Dudes. Peggy Morrison of Kaysville suggested the Salt Lake Seagull Beagles.
- THE LAND/LOCAL COLOR. Salt Lake Mountainairs. Utah Arches. Utah Uintas. Salt Lake Twin Peaks. Salt Lake Quake. Utah Mountainmen. Salt Lake Pioneers.
- MISCELLANEOUS: Salt Lake City Swords - Harold Carlson, Salt Lake City. Big points for originality and alliteration, but a little weak on a local tie.
There you have it, a long list of potential names for our new team. If Joe needs more help with the name, he knows where to find it - the same place he got the money.