Grinch here.
I know these are momentously giddy times for the Golden State Warriors and their fans, as everyone in town slicks down his or her hair in anticipation of hosting the NBA Finals.I hate to be the hair ball in the punch bowl, and in just a moment I'll join the conga line forming outside the Coliseum Arena.
But first, I would like to take one fond, wistful look back at what might've been.
The Warriors almost got Shawn Bradley, the man I honestly believe they wanted. They got knocked out of the box by a shrewd, in-your-face bluff by the Philadelphia 76ers.
Since the Warriors didn't get Bradley, everyone is scrambling to explain why the team is better off with Chris Webber, and the Warriors are selling the line that Webber was The Man all along.
Maybe. But if you secretly polled every NBA coach and general manager as to what player they would have taken with the No. 1 pick, throwing out all consideration of salary caps and politics, I think the results would have been:
1. Shawn Bradley, in a landslide.
2. Chris Webber, a smattering of votes, like from Houston and San Antonio and maybe Orlando, but not the Warriors.
I'm not sure anyone else would get a vote.
So in that respect, Dealin' Don Nelson did just fine, essentially moving his club up from a very juicy No. 3 spot to an outrageously fortunate No. 2 position in the draft.
I salute him, praise him, honor him and renew my membership in his fan club. But I don't believe him when he says Webber was the goal.
Every coach is a gambler, a high-wire hot dog without a net. They know you don't win big if you don't bet big.
Chris Webber could become one of the five best NBA power forwards of all time. Shawn Bradley could turn into one of the three best basketball players of all time.
Webber improves the Warriors immediately. Bradley changes the character of the team dramatically.
Just on defense: With Bradley in the middle, suddenly, the other team's strategy is no longer to drive the pillow-soft gut of the Warriors. Now they try to work for a perimeter shot, while Chris Mullin, Latrell Sprewell and Tim Hardaway cheat, gamble, overplay, trap, double-team, sneak into the passing lanes and steal you blind.
Many opinion-mongers say Bradley is too soft, too fragile. Hogslop. Warriors assistant coach Gregg Popovich told me on draft-lottery day that Bradley is a tough guy, a nasty-dispositioned player.
Too skinny? Wilt Chamberlain the rookie was built like a mop handle and he dominated the low block so thoroughly that the NBA widened the lane two feet because they didn't want Wilt scoring 150 in a game.
Not that Bradley is a new Wilt, although they both water ski. Bradley will never have Wilt's offensive knack, but he's no Mark Eaton or Manute Bol, either.
And please don't tell me how Bradley's skills deteriorated during his two-year mission. He's not 40. He got stronger, and he did not get shorter. There's a big difference between cob webs and dry rot.
David Robinson took a couple years off before entering the NBA and his game didn't suffer.
I think Nelson wanted Bradley but wisely folded his cards when the 76ers threatened to screw up the Warriors-Magic deal by drafting Anfernee Hardaway, coveted by the Magic, if the Magic drafted Bradley and traded him to the Warriors.
I have my doubts. The 76ers need size - would they draft Hardaway just to gain revenge on the Magic for cheating them out of Bradley?
The 76ers drafting Hardaway out of revenge would have been a bold and macho move, but counter to the team's best interests. I think they would have taken Webber and wished a 100-year curse on the Magic and Warrior franchises.
Maybe the Warriors and the Magic felt it would be too mean-spirited, too much bad karma to gang up on Philadelphia like that.
So they backed off, conceded the tall lad to Philadelphia.
The Warriors say they had no control over who the Magic drafted, that the NBA forbid them from telling the Magic who to draft. This is a rule about as easily-enforceable as the law against tearing that tag off your mattress.
One more note of negativity. Those three first-round draft picks that the Warriors traded away to swing the deal, the picks everyone seems to be kissing off? Picking 21st in the draft is not an enviable position, but it beats the pants off picking 46th.
That's it. I have briefly mourned the passing of Shawn Bradley from the Warriors' picture.
Now we move boldly into the future, which is beautiful. A month ago the Warriors were looking at drafting a Vin Baker or Rodney Rogers. One silly pingpong ball later, they wind up with a true blue-chipper, a potential championship maker, and that is a good thing indeed.
Webber could be the Barry Bonds of Bay Area basketball.
It is time now to move ahead, to celebrate the arrival of a great young man and a great player, the dawn of a new era of excitement and NBA Finals potential.
Assuming the Warriors can sign the kid.