WHAT WOULD THE world be like without sports, Michael Jordan once asked us in a television commercial. Good question.
There would be no fall afternoons in the stadium.There would be no Thanksgiving Day; there would be no Detroit Lions.
There would be no Magic.
There would be no hoops nailed over garage doors across America.
There would be no Final Four, no Super Bowl, no World Series, no World Cup, no NBA Finals, no Wimbledon, no Kentucky Derby, no Olympics, no Boston Marathon, no Masters Tournament, no Orange Bowl.
There would be nothing to read in the newspaper.
There would be no summer nights at the ballpark.
There would be no gathering of the world every four years.
There would be no Mailman.
There would be no hometown team.
There would be 10 empty minutes on the 10 o'clock news.
There would be nothing but parades on New Year's Day.
There would be no Montana. It would just be some state.
There would be nothing on TV on Sunday. Church attendance might increase.
There would be no Friday nights sitting under dim lights at the high school stadium, no pep rallies, no cheerleaders, no homecoming queens, no parents cheering for sons and daughters . . .
There would be no Dream Team.
There would be fewer young millionaires.
There would be no winter nights in the arena.
There would be no Monday Night Football.
There would be more childbirths.
There would be fewer Saturdays in front of the tube. Husbands and wives might converse more.
There would be more fat in the world.
There would be no first and 10 do it again, no audibles, no stealing, no three-point plays, no power plays, no slam dunks, no give and go's, no holes in one, no aces.
There would be a decline in crime - no hit and run, no stealing, no illegal use of hands, no personal fouls.
There would be no such thing as the luge.
There would be nothing to put on young boys' walls, and fewer dreams to fill their minds.
There would be nothing to test our hearts. And lungs.
There would be no Saturday mornings watching soccer games, no carpools, no halftime treats.
There would be no Little League. And no Little League parents.
There would be a drastic reduction in bad movies.
There would be less hope for inner city kids.
There would be nothing to cheer, nothing to jeer.
There would be no Boston Garden, no Rose Bowl, no Wrigley Field, no L.A. Coliseum, no Super-, Astro- or Kingdomes.
There would be fewer role models.
There would be no weekend warriors.
There would be a sharp decline in the consumption of hotdogs and popcorn.
There would be nothing to talk about on Monday morning at the water cooler.
There would be no Carl Lewis in full stride, no Barry Sanders slashing through the line, no Tony Gwynn punching to the opposite field, no Wayne Gretzky slicing through the crease, no Pete Sampras going down the line, no Jordan in full flight . . .
There would be no NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, CFL, NCAA, WWF, CBA; there would be a surplus of letters.
There would be fewer labor strikes.
There would be less sweat in the world.
There would be no Buddy Ryan, no Dennis Rodman, no Tonya Harding, no Marge Schott, no John Daly, no Bobby Knight, no Jimmy and Jerry.
There would be no pro wrestling.
There would be no Leon Lett, no Bill Buckner, no Mitch Williams, no Buffalo Bills, no Chicago Cubs.
There would be no radio jock talk shows. And no ESPN.
There would be no sychronized swimming.
There would be fewer knee injuries.
There would be less gambling.
There would be fewer beer commercials. And fewer pickup truck ads.
There would be fewer reasons to try our best.
There would be no grand-scale theater, no championship quests, no bitter disappointments, all played out on a worldwide stage.
There would be less fun in our lives.
What WOULD the world be like without sports?