Question: I go to a small high school with an enrollment of about 105. Over half that number thinks we should be able to wear hats in the school. Our principal, who enforces the anti-hat rule and makes every teacher enforce it, says it's a public place and you're not supposed to wear hats in a public place.
When (you go) to the public library, look to see if people wear hats and do the same at the courthouse. They wear them there, too. I think they should treat the school just like they treat every other public place.- Jeremy in Wisconsin
From Pat and David: Lots of schools now have tough dress codes that prohibit hats, jackets, backpacks, etc., that might disrupt teaching; threaten school security; promote vulgar or racially derogatory messages, illegal substances or alcoholic beverages; or display gang or satanic symbols. . . .
Go see your principal with a few of the 50 other students who want to wear hats and hear why your school has implemented the hat rule. Maybe you'll be given a different reason - one that makes more sense to you than the one you're challenging.
Readers, has this been a problem in your high school?
Question: I've been going with this guy for going on nine months. We're happy. At least, I am. My boyfriend is very jealous of my guy friends. He tells me I shouldn't talk to them or be friends with them.
When one of my guy friends calls me, my boyfriend gets very upset. My boyfriend has girl friends. And when I tell him I'm jealous of them, he thinks there's something wrong with me. I've told my boyfriend he has nothing to worry about with my friends, but he doesn't believe me. Any advice? Please?
- `Confused in Love' in Michigan
From Pat and David: Sounds like all the rights are on his side; all the "wrongs" are on yours. And this makes you happy? We think insisting that you can't be just friends with other people is unreasonable, controlling and unhealthy.
Our advice: 1. Ask yourself honestly how much time you spend feeling stress, guilt and unhappiness. 2. Let him know he's being unreasonable. 3. Be willing to look elsewhere.
Question: How much harder is it being an adult than a teenager?
- From an 18-Year-Old in Illinois
Answer: From Corey, Monica, Quana, Roshonda, John and Ursula, Carter High School, Dallas: Being an adult, you have to assume major responsibilities such as food, clothes, shelter, money management, employment, insurance, bills, etc., to maintain a desirable way of living.
As an adult you take on obstacles on your own without the aid of your parents that you are accustomed to. Adults must be prepared to take care of themselves and not depend on their parents or other people.
Some teenagers, on the other hand, are more lenient and are basically unaware of the dangers that we are subject to without knowledge and alertness. Teenagers are used to mom and dad being there to help, guide and hold us by the hand, step by step. They are, in essence, unconscious of the realities of the world.
Adults are not only subject to the harms of society, but they must keep a broad mind. Being an adult, you must know a little about everything in order not to be taken advantage of.
From Pat and David: The major difference we see is the level of responsibility adults have. But 78 percent of teenagers responding to our survey last fall felt they had too much stress in their life . . . so who really has it harder? Teenagers or adults?
Maybe you could conduct your own personal survey. Ask some adults you know to compare their teenage experiences with their adult years.
Talkback: From Chris in Colorado: I (didn't) celebrate Valentine's Day. I've never had a girlfriend. Girls don't give me a chance even though I'm a nice guy. I think girls are more concerned about superficial things rather than if the guy would treat her good.
What's Up: The Vegetarian Resource Group, a nonprofit organization, is sponsoring an essay contest on vegetarianism and will award a $50 savings bond to the winners in each of three age categories, 8 and under, 9-13, and 14-18. The deadline is May 1. Send your entry or request for more information to The Vegetarian Resource Group, P.O. Box 1462, Baltimore, MD 21203.