There's a big difference between being childlike and childish but the makers of "Clifford" apparently haven't figured that out.
The movie "Clifford" is a rip-off of "Problem Child," and was actually shot shortly after the two "Problem Child" movies became surprise hits as spoofs of "The Bad Seed."
Originally conceived for a child actor, "Clifford" became a vehicle for Martin Short, who agreed to play the 10-year-old title character when the filmmakers discovered they couldn't get Macaulay Culkin or Elijah Wood. This "brilliant" piece of casting undermines whatever germ of humor might have otherwise surfaced in this misguided effort.
More like an idiot adult masquerading as a child, Short mugs, twitches and generally acts as if he's still doing a skit on "Saturday Night Live" or "SCTV." But this is a 90-minute skit, and it quickly wears out its welcome. (See the Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis comedy "You're Never Too Young," in which Lewis plays an adult pretending to be a 12-year-old boy, and you may discover Short's inspiration for his portrayal of this character.)
The story begins with Clifford as an adult, an aging priest in the year 2050, lecturing a young boy in a home for wayward youths. The bulk of the film is shown in flashback, as Clifford tells the lad a story of his own childhood, focusing on an unscheduled visit with his Uncle Martin (Charles Grodin).
It seems that Clifford is traveling to Hawaii with his parents on a business trip, but because he wants to go to Dinosaur World in Los Angeles, he forces the plane to make an emergency landing.
Martin agrees to watch Clifford for a week while his parents continue on to Hawaii, not because he loves his nephew but because he wants to impress his girlfriend, Sarah (Mary Steenburgen).
As you might expect, Clifford spends the week terrorizing his uncle, getting him arrested for a phony bomb threat, spoiling the anniversary party of Sarah's parents, tricking Martin into taking a train to San Francisco, wrecking Martin's apartment with a wild party and eventually getting Martin fired by destroying his life's work.
Martin gets revenge in the end by taking Clifford to Dinosaur World and forcing him to go on the T-rex ride over and over, eventually kicking it into hyper-speed. That's before the warm and fuzzy conclusion, of course.
The technical credits give some clues as to how bad it all is - director Paul Flaherty has previously given us George Burns' worst movie, "18 Again!" and one of John Candy's worst, "Who's Harry Crumb?" If that's not enough, the credited screenwriters - Jay Dee Rock & Bobby Von Hayes - do not have biographies in the press kit, usually a sign that they are phony names for writers who wished to remain anonymous.
And who could blame them? "Clifford" is the worst comedy since "Captain Ron" or "Pure Luck" or "Cross My Heart" . . . come to think of it, they all starred Martin Short, too.
"Clifford" is rated PG for profanity, vulgarity and violence.