Once upon a time an old married couple sat together in their drawing room, enjoying the comfort of their home and the quiet evening. A cool spring wind began to blow, and the curtains fluttered in the breeze. Still, the woman went on knitting and the husband went on reading his book.
The wind picked up, and suddenly the front door flew open."Dear husband," said the woman, taking a sip of hot tea, "do go and close the door, won't you? I'm afraid the night air will give me a chill."
Her husband looked up over his spectacles and his eyes opened wide. "Me close the door?" he asked, quite astonished. "I'm quite comfortable just as I am. Here I sit quite warmly dressed in my new robe and fine slippers. I'm warm enough, thank you. You close the door yourself, good wife."
The woman placed her teacup on the table beside her. She wrapped her arms around herself and pulled her shawl close. She shivered once. "So, you expect me to do everything, do you, dear husband? You expect me to rise from my comfortable chair and walk clear across the room to close the door? That door opens onto the road. If I go to the door, anyone might look inside and see me in my frilly nightgown. Surely a husband who cares for his wife will close the front door for her."
Now the couple stared angrily at each other. The husband dropped the book onto his lap. The wife folded her hands. They were silent for several minutes. The only sounds they heard were the purring of their two fat cats, the cool wind, and the grandfather clock, ticking loudly.
The husband spoke again. "I cannot believe that my wife would be so foolish as to ask me to rise from my chair. Surely you can close the door yourself."
"And I cannot believe that my husband would be so foolish as to ask his wife to do what he might do so easily."
Again the couple fell silent and stared at each other. The wind began to blow still harder. The curtains fluttered wildly in the wind. "Who shall close the door?" asked the wife.
The husband harrumphed and crossed his legs. The wife crossed her legs and grumbled. The cats looked at the open door.
At last, as the grandfather clock chimed seven times, the husband looked at his wife and said, "We'll make a bargain. Whoever speaks first will be the one to close the door."
"That's fine," said the wife, and the two settled into their chairs and stared silently at each other while the cats curled up beside each other for warmth.
As night fell, neither the husband nor the wife rose to light the lamps or the candles. Neither the husband nor the wife said a word.
The hours passed.
As the clock chimed 10, a band of young thieves passing by noticed that the door to the house was wide open. Silently they walked to the door. The eldest lad leaned in and listened hard. Hearing not a sound, he stepped inside and looked around. Seeing the couple, he stopped in his tracks and began to back out of the room. But as he did, neither the husband nor the wife said a word.
"I think I shall take a few things," said the lad, and beckoned to his friends outside.
He looked at the husband, but the man said nothing. The lad looked at the wife, but she sat still as stone.
So the lads began to prowl through the house. The first lad picked up the beautiful copper kettle that hung over the hearth. He turned and looked at the woman. She stayed silent. Then he picked up a porcelain lamp, while another lad opened a drawer. The second lad, seeing the satin lining and the gleaming silver, turned around and looked at the husband. The husband said not a word. So the second lad began to fill his sack.
The other lads wandered through the whole house, gathering all they could find. Each object they saw they lifted. Then they looked first to the wife, then to the husband. Hearing no objection, the lads placed each thing in their bags. Soon they had gathered the linen and the china cups, the clothing, the lamps, the curtains and every other valuable that they could find.
While the lads went about their business, the wife stared at her husband, thinking he ought to attend to this matter. The husband stared back, thinking that this was something his wife should handle. Neither said a word.
Soon the thieves had collected everything they could carry. They turned to the grandfather clock as it struck 11. The eldest lad lifted it up, and a moment later all of them were out the door, leaving it wide open.
The husband and wife sat very still and stared at each other through the whole night. The chilly spring wind blew through the empty house, and both of them shivered. But neither one would say a word.
At dawn a policeman walking down the street saw the open door and peered inside. There he saw the couple sitting in the now barren room.
"What's this?" asked the policeman. "Has someone stolen your things?" asked the policeman.
The couple sat silently.
The policeman ran to fetch help, and through the door stormed 10 policemen. "Tell us what has happened?" demanded the chief.
Neither the woman nor the man said a word.
The chief lost his patience. "Grab that man!" he instructed his officers, "and take him to the station. He'll tell us a thing or two!"
So the policemen gathered round the man and began to lift him from his chair. Still the husband said not a word. The policemen carried him to the door.
At last the wife could stand it no longer. "Please, officers!" she cried, rising to her feet and running to the door. "He has done nothing wrong! He is my husband. Do not take him away!"
At that, the husband grinned broadly. "I win!" he cried.
- THIS IS A TALE told around the world, from east to west. Note especially the famous Scottish ballad known as "The Barring of the Door," but variations of the story are also found in Italy, Arabia and the Far East.