"Cutthroat Island" is an expensive, bloated buccaneer epic, directed by Renny Harlin, who has given us big action films before, in particular "Die Hard 2" and "Cliffhanger."
Those movies were enjoyable on their own terms but certainly had lapses in story development. With "CutThroat Island," however, Harlin reaches some kind of zenith in terms of action without story.
There is a central plot, of course . . . such as it is. Geena Davis (Harlin's wife), the feisty daughter of an infamous pirate in the 17th-century Caribbean, inherits his ship and his scraggly crew, along with one-third of a treasure map. So, she tries to track down the rest of the map while doing battle with her evil uncle (Frank Langella). He's also a pirate, you see — and, naturally, it's a race to see who can get to the treasure first. Oh, yes, and along the way, Davis purchases a slave (Matthew Modine), who becomes her tentative love interest.
That's about it. The rest is all impossible stunts, huge explosions and lots of running and jumping, along with the requisite killing and mayhem.
The stars are enjoyable in their roles, though Davis blows Modine out of the water, so to speak. But, in general, they seem to be having a bit too much fun. It's more like watching a couple of stars play "let's-dress-up-and-be-pirates" rather than accepting them as characters in a swashbuckling adventure. (And the constant overblown music of David Arnold doesn't help.)
If stuntwork is your bag, it's certainly impressive on that level, and the period trappings — and those incredible ships — provide appealing eye-candy.
But with all of the film's dark set-pieces, surrounded by dried-up corpses, I began to feel as if I was on a very long ride through Disneyland's "Pirates of the Caribbean." (Or maybe standing in the line that precedes the ride).
"CutThroat Island" is rated R for plenty of violence, along with too many sexual double-entendres.