Here's the story . . . of a lovely lady . . .
Ann B. Davis recently sat down and watched a Brady Bunch episode from start to finish for the first time in 20-some-odd years.To the television actress who played the role of Alice, the beloved Brady Bunch housekeeper, (and in 70's lingo) the experience wasn't too groovy.
It was actually rather far out.
"I don't remember the lines or the plot or what happens next," she noted. "But there is that much younger woman playing my part. And thinner, too."
Outa sight!
Like good old blue-uni-formed/-white-aproned Alice, many of us are looking back nostalgically to the good ol' days.
In fashion, food and free time.
Kids are discovering their parents' beloved sitcoms on cable TV - viewing marathon weeks of Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and most recently, Brady Bunch reruns.
All those groovy chicks and dreamy guys are lovin' those squeaky-clean, simplistic Brady episodes - in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.
What exactly is '70s retro?
Spoolie-headed guys in tight-fitting floral bell-bottom trousers, wide, white belts, and platform shoes. Johnny Bravo wannabees.
Blonde babes dancing the "hitchike" to 8-track tapes blasting out Monkee tunes, frosted pink lips singing along in Shelly Fabares-like whispers. Dreaming of being Teen Models.
A groovy kinda time.
Any town in America could have been named "Polyester City."
The Brady Bunch appeared on television beginning in September of 1969 and finally ended in March of 1974. During the early '70s, "slice of life" television was whipping up the wrath of mothers, who demanded that networks produce something more suitable for their children.
When the kids would get home from school and flip on the TV, "Gilligan's Island" was about the only thing available. So, Gilligan's creator, Sherwood Schwartz, came up with another rather fluffy theme of a "perfect" family, with brothers and sisters to lean on - where every problem could be solved in 231/2 minutes.
He called it "The Brady Brood." Thankfully, the name was changed.
(Try singing "The Brady Bunch" lyrics using "brood" instead of "bunch" . . . .sounds like the national poultry association theme song.)
Ann B. Davis/Alice was a permanent kitchen fixture on the series, forever stirring a simmering pot of Brady-food. (In a recent interview she revealed that "dinner" was Dinty Moore Stew or boiling water.)
Davis was always there with bits of wisdom to help the Brady kids through the often-rocky road to puberty.
Davis says that when everybody who has ever known her sees her name on the recently released "Brady Bunch Cookbook," "they'll burst into laughter."
"Personally, I can't cook," she reveals.
"Well, I don't cook - maybe a steak or a chop, but nothing that merits me giving any advice whatsoever."
In order to catch the retro-wave at the peak, Davis hired her friend Ron Smolen, co-founder of the Scottsdale Culinary Festival, and his wife Diane, (who is currently putting together a cookbook for children) to put the project in motion.
She gives the Smolens all the credit for gathering, choosing, checking and testing the recipes.
Davis added her anecdotes, some pictures, and 20 years of television exposure.
Twenty years?
Now that's real retro!
Remember Charmaine "Shultzy" Shultz, gal Friday on "The Bob Cummings Show?"
And Miss Wilson, the physical-education teacher in "The John Forsythe Show?"
Ann B. Davis.
She's currently on a national tour of "Crazy For You."
But most of us will still picture her as Alice, shaping 20-pound hunks of hamburger into massive meatloaves; at home in a color-kaleidoscope kitchen of harvest golds, avocado greens and overt orange.
So what if she can't cook. The cookbook is, surprisingly enough, an excellent collection of aptly named recipes. Her name is the hook; but the recipes we tested are worth the effort. We think you'll enjoy the sampling.
Catch retro-revival! Dig out some Davey Jones tunes, try the following recipe for "Tightened Braces Tomato Soup," and imagine yourself as Alice, the '70s pseudo cook.
She WAS something! Never breaking under the tortuous pre-teen obnoxiousness of Jan Brady, a pouty kid who constantly adjusted her pink foam-rubber rollers, whining incessantly about wearing glasses, caught up in the throes of sibling rivalry.
All the while uttering the words that send today's retro-relishers into hysterics: "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"
You had to be there.
*****
Additional Information
Recipes
MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA MUFFINS
2 cups whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup oil
1/2 cup honey
1 1/2 cups milk
In a medium bowl mix the flour, baking powder and salt. Add the egg, oil, honey and milk, and mix with fork just until moistened. Do not overbeat. Spoon the batter into 12 large greased muffin cups. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Makes 12 large muffins.
- Each muffin contains 173 calories, 6g fat, 28g carb, 171mg sodium, 20mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"
RAQUEL THE GOAT'S GREEK SANDWICHES
1 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
1 teaspoon dill
8 pita breads
2 pounds thinly sliced roast beef
2 cups crumbled feta cheese
2 small tomatoes sliced and cut in strips
In a small bowl mix the sour cream, horseradish and dill. Warm the pita bread. Open the pockets of each pita and stuff in the beef, cheese and tomatoes, dividing evenly among all eight. Spoon some of the sour cream mixture into each pocket. Makes 8 pitas.
- Each pita contains 654 calories, 32g fat, 39g carb, 1216mg sodium, 171mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"
BOGIE'S PORK CHOPS (AND APPLESAUCE!) WITH LEMON
1/2 cup unsalted butter
2 tablespoons oil
8 boneless pork chops
Salt to taste
2 teaspoons coarsely ground black pepper
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2/3 cup chicken broth
1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest
In a large skillet melt 2 tablespoons of butter and the oil. Season the chops on both sides with salt and pepper. Place 4 chops in the skillet and cook on high until just brown on each side. Remove and keep warm on a platter. Repeat with another 2 tablespoons of butter and the remaining chops. Add the broth to the skillet and cook over medium heat until the liquid is reduced by half. Add the lemon juice and zest, and bring the sauce to a boil. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining butter until melted. Spoon the sauce over the pork chops and serve with applesauce. Serves 8.
- Each serving contains 307 calories, 25g fat, 2g carb, 176mg sodium, 94mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"
TIGHTENED BRACES TOMATO SOUP
1/4 cup butter
8 scallions, thinly sliced
8 large tomatoes, peeled and diced
1 clove garlic, finely minced
4 cups chicken broth
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon sugar
Salt and pepper to taste
In a saucepan melt the butter and add the scallions, tomatoes and garlic. Cover and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the remaining ingredients and bring the soup to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer another 10 minutes. Makes 6 servings.
- Each serving contains 159 calories, 8g fat, 19g carb, 705mg sodium, 18mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"
- A Note From Alice: "This is all that kids like Jan want on days when their braces have been tightened. There is something about the warmth of the soup and the acidity of the tomato that is soothing. Of course it could also be that you don't have to chew."
FLORENCE'S CHICKEN OREGANO
4 boneless chicken breasts
1/2 cup butter or olive oil
1 teaspoon leaf oregano
Garlic powder
Pepper to taste
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 16-ounce box spaghetti
1 tablespoon oil
Arrange the chicken in a baking pan. Dot with 3 tablespoons of butter and sprinkle with some of the oregano and the garlic powder. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Add the mushrooms for the last 10 minutes of baking. Cook the spaghetti according to the package directions, adding 1 tablespoon of oil to the water. Drain. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of Parmesan, a little more of the oregano, and pepper on the bottom of the platter. Place the spaghetti on top of the spices on the platter. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese, remaining oregano, and pepper over the spaghetti. Melt 5 tablespoons of butter and pour it over the noodles. Place the chicken and mushrooms over the noodles and serve. Makes 4 servings.
- Each serving contains 687 calories, 46g fat, 36g carb, 484mg sodium, 57mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"
FAR OUT HUNGARIAN GOULASH
1/4 cup butter
2 pounds beef chuck or round, in 1-inch cubes
1 cup sliced onion
1 small clove garlic, minced
3/4 cup tomato sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 cups water
1/4 cup tomato sauce
3 cups hot cooked noodles
In a large skillet melt the butter. Add the beef, onion and garlic. Cook, stirring until the meat is brown and the onion is tender. Stir in the tomato sauce, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, salt, paprika, mustard, cayenne, tomato sauce and 11/4 cups water. Cover and simmer for 2 to 21/2 hours. Blend the flour and 1/4 cup of water until smooth. Stir the mixture slowly into the meat mixture. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly, about 1 minute. Serve over hot noodles. Makes 6 servings.
- Each serving contains 636 calories, 35g fat, 29g carb, 1005mg sodium, 197mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"
GROOVY OLD-FASHIONED PANCAKES
2 eggs
5 tablespoons melted butter
1 cup milk
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
In a mixing bowl beat the eggs until blended. Add the butter and milk, and mix well. In a separate bowl use a fork to combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Slowly add the egg mixture just until the batter is thoroughly moistened. Heat a skillet or griddle until drops of water sizzle on it. Lightly grease the hot griddle (if nonstick, no grease is needed). Drop 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter in the skillet for each pancake. Cook until bubbles form, turn and cook until the bottom is lightly browned. Serve immediately. Makes about 14 pancakes.
Variations: For special occasions or just something different, try adding 2 cups of blueberries, raspberries, or strawberries to the batter. Or just add 2 to 3 tablespoons of berries to the top of each pancake when it starts to bubble. Turn over and finish as above. Peeled and trimmed fresh fruit such as bananas, peaches, oranges or apricots may also be used.
- Each serving contains 101 calories, 5g fat, 11g carb, 278mg sodium, 42mg cholesterol.
- From "Alice's Brady Bunch Cookbook"