Calvert DeForest long ago exhausted his 15 minutes of fame - so long ago, in fact, that he likely has consumed the 15 minutes of thousands of other obscure Americans.
In fact, the roly-poly nebbish, known for more than a decade as Larry "Bud" Melman on "Late Night With David Letterman," is coming dangerously close to basking in the snuggly warmth of 15 years of fame.Like a relentless punch line, DeForest has turned the longest-running joke in television into a comfortable living.
He's still showing up as a sort of human exclamation point on CBS' "Late Show With David Letterman," found hanging out in the halls of the Ed Sullivan Theater or delivering nightly top 10 lists to Letterman - finally departing the stage with his now-trademark "So long, suckers!"
But DeForest - despite having the Larry "Bud" Melman name that Letterman pinned on him stripped away amid NBC's inexplicable claims of "intellectual" property - is hotter than he has any right to be at this stage of his fame curve.
DeForest is making a mint from that series of telephone ads he's doing for MCI. He's busy every week with personal appearances, mostly on college campuses. And he has just come out with a book that addresses the gospel according to Cal: "Cheap Advice: A Guide to Low-Cost Luxury."
"Cheap Advice" is 104 pages of deeply disturbed puns, inside jokes, offbeat observations and mocking pictures of the divertingly nerdy DeForest. The fact that it's dreadful is both beside the point and precisely the point.
Here, as an example, are "Calvert DeForest's 3 Golden Rules of Business":
"1. Think of something people want.
"2. Make it cheap.
"3. Sell it for a lot."
OK, so it ain't exactly funny. But to hear DeForest tell it during a recent book signing, that wasn't his intent.
"I wrote it to make me rich, filthy rich," DeForest said. "Actually, in reality, I think it was to help mankind more than anything."
That's pretty much it for the clever quotes from DeForest. As you quickly learn from speaking with him, he is really the trained seal of show business. Hold up a cue card and he'll read it; leave him on his own and it's fairly slim pickings.
The one thing that DeForest does understand is that he has milked more from this inept everyman act than any rational human could have thought possible.
"It's amazing how long I've kept this going," DeForest said, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wake up and think it's just all a dream. I've just been so lucky. The last 12 years have been the best of my life, by far."
DeForest has Letterman to thank for that, of course. He plucked DeForest from obscurity back when his "Late Night" show was starting up on NBC in 1982. A group of writers had submitted their New York University student film "King of the Zs" starring DeForest; Letterman hired many of the writers, as well as DeForest.
Of course, these days DeForest has some competition over at "Late Show." He's no longer the show's reigning mascot, a title that now must go to a couple of local souvenir shop salesmen named Sirajul and Mujibur. He seems to have even been passed up by Rupert, the proprietor of the nearby "Hello Deli."
But DeForest harbors no resentment.
"Why should I be jealous?" he asks. "I'm more than happy to share the wealth."
When not engaged in the business of playing a continuing joke, DeForest likes to busy himself going to plays and movies, and admits to having had a lifelong love affair with Bette Davis ("I just have a fixation" he said). He never married, preferring always to go his "own way."
As for what's next on DeForest's plate, the man refuses to look ahead.
"Good things come to those who help themselves," he said. "Now I think I'll go help myself to some dinner."