Sir: I can remember my grandmother saying "It's like having an albatross around your neck." According to my dictionary, an albatross is a large web-footed bird found in the South Seas. I truly cannot imagine wearing this around one's neck. Please advise.
- Eleanne.
Answer: Bless you for asking. You've justified the teacher who, many years ago, made me memorize lines from Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," all about that unfortunate sailor who, with his crossbow, shot the albatross. That was bad, and the defunct bird around his neck was hung, and there was all sorts of trouble. The ice was here, the ice was there, and like that. Anyway, an albatross around one's neck is an awful curse. Trust me, you don't want one.
Sir: Have you noticed the misuse of "wrestle" instead of "wrest" as in "He wrestled the gun away from the suspect," a statement that appeared in my newspaper? That's not safe!
- Mary G.
Answer: No, I've never noticed that misuse, but I will from now on. To wrest means to pull, force or move with difficulty, while to wrestle means to contend by grappling with. Wrestling a gun away from someone is a lot more dangerous than wresting it any day. Many thanks for the warning.
Sir: The heading on a full-page ad I have just read says "Unlike any community in the world," and an editorial in my newspaper includes the phrase "more than anything." I think you should point out the necessity for "else" or "other" in such statements. Why don't those writers see it?
- Edward C.
Answer: Well, they sure as shootin' should, Edward. That's as bad as telling your sweetheart you love her "more than any girl." So what's she, chopped liver?
Sir: Is "that" now an accepted substitute for "who" when you're referring to a person? We hear it used by newscasters, by public figures and in daily conversations all the time.
- C.F.B.
Answer: You're right, and ain't it awful? People are constantly saying "A man that" or "A woman that," and the sky doesn't fall on them, though it ought to. Unfortunately, you and I are in the minority on that. Great authorities insist that such usage is entirely standard. But we don't have to use it, do we? We can say a man who, a woman who, people who, even little boys and girls who, and they can't stop us. There, I feel better already.
Sir: It seems you take a lot of pleasure in telling people they're wrong. Is the purpose of your column to help people, or to make yourself feel superior?
- Heather P.
Answer: Yes and no, Miss Heather. And now a question for you. Have you quit beating your cute little puppy? Answer yes or no.
TYPO OF THE WEEK, spotted by Mary T.:
"My magazine intended to use the word `learning,' but instead it said that `leering is the acquisition of fixed outlooks . . .' Well, maybe that, too."