An article in Thursday's USA Today chronicled the prolific rise of Promise Keepers, dubbed the "fastest-growing segment of the men's movement."
Organized five years ago to teach men their "spiritual and family duties," Promise Keepers has drawn thousands of men from around the country to scores of football stadiums for a full day of prayer, hymns and a renewed commitment to God and marriage.Although the men-only religious rallies have grabbed recent headlines, many Utah couples say they've been getting away for weekends of spiritual retreat for years. Some are trying to save a troubled marriage. Others are seeking to make a good relationship better.
Each fall, Stan and Karen Minchon, Salt Lake City, attend conferences sponsored by FamilyLife - a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ International, which has held marriage retreats since 1976.
"It makes for a special three-day weekend that's designed to strengthen a good marriage," said Karen Minchon. "The conference reminds couples of the biblical basis of marriage . . . it's a time when you and your spouse can get away from everything and just focus on one another."
Couples spend their weekend involved in spiritual, "interactive" seminars and projects that allow them to polish their communication skills.
"One highlight of the conference is an activity where people write down their basic needs in a personal notebook. Those needs are then shared with your partner and you understand each other better," said Karen Minchon.
The spiritual retreat movement for couples has apparently caught on across the country. FamilyLife spokesman Bob Richardson recently told the Los Angeles Times that 17,000 people attended the group's marriage conferences last fall, a 22 percent increase over the previous year.
No surprise, says Shari Hooper, an instructor for Lutheran Marriage Encounter - an extension of the nondenominational Worldwide Marriage Encounter.
"Our retreats benefit couples who have been together for 60 years, along with couples who just got married," said Hooper, who is in Boise this weekend conducting a marriage conference. "We ask couples to unplug the TV and telephone in their hotel room, take off their watches and spend the weekend just concentrating on each other and the Lord."
About a dozen different denominations offer a version of Marriage Encounter, geared specifically to members of their own church. The Catholic Church will host such a program April 21-23 at the Ramada Inn, geared specifically toward enhancing already-good marriages.
Other programs exist for marriages in trouble. One of the most well-known is Retrouvaille, which is "a specific ministry to hurting marriages," according to Lauren Aumann, the local contact for the program. Couples enrolled attend an initial weekend retreat that focuses on both the strengths and difficulties in the relationship.
Follow-up sessions include examination of each marriage partner's own personal traits, conflict resolution, how to trust again, forgiveness and living successfully in a Christian marriage.
"We find the major area most couples have trouble with is communication," Aumann said. "We're not counselors and our program doesn't involve counseling. It's a peer to peer ministry - most of them (facilitators) have been through relationship problems of their own. They show that difficult problems can be successfully turned around and that there is hope. Part of the process is learning to communicate differently. And we always stress that God is at the heart of the relationship."
Sponsored by the Catholic Diocese of Salt Lake City, Retrouvaille is focused on Christian marriage principles, rather than denomination-specific doctrine, Aumann said. Couples of all faiths attend the sessions, which run over a period of 10 weeks. The next local session begins in September.
Redefining the institution of marriage is the central goal of many retreats, say organizers.
"Jesus' first miracle was performed at a marriage ceremony; it's obvious how important marriage is to the Lord," said Hooper. "We hope couples will get away from what society says about marriage and learn what God has to say."