As 18-year-old Josh Holdaway struggled to free his snowmobile, stuck in waist-deep snow, a sense of panic began to set in. It was last Dec. 31, and he had become separated from his father and friends while snowmobiling in the Uinta Mountains near Woodland, Utah, about 45 miles east of Salt Lake City.
It was a late Saturday afternoon, very cold, darkness was setting in, and he was exhausted from laboring to get his machine back on firm snow so he could go find the others.This was Josh's first snowmobile outing, and he sensed that he was in deep trouble.
Indeed he was, and though he miraculously survived the torturous night that followed due to faith and prayer - both his own and from others on his behalf - the young man subsequently lost parts of his fingers and thumbs due to the severe frostbite he suffered. Josh underwent nine hours of microscopic surgery on his hands in January, and in February had his toes amputated along with an inch off his left foot. But physicians are optimistic that he will be able to walk, and they believe he will eventually have use of his hands.
The young man - a priest in the South Jordan 1st Ward, South Jordan Utah Stake - recalled his ordeal in a recent Church News interview.
"I had become separated from the others while crossing a large clearing, followed the wrong trail and had gone down into a ravine," he reflected. "I realized the trail was the wrong one and tried to find a place to back up the machine and climb back up into the clearing, but I got stuck."
He freed the machine, expending a lot of energy in the process, then became stuck again. Darkness was setting in.
"At first I started to panic, then I started praying real hard and calmed down," he said.
Josh walked away from his snowmobile and up the side of the ravine to see if anyone had come by, but nobody had. He then walked several hundred yards in every direction, battling through deep snow, but couldn't see anybody.
He returned to his snowmobile and turned on the lights, hoping someone would see their bright rays shining in the surrounding treetops in what was now darkness. After about 20 minutes he turned them off and started walking down the ravine.
Josh's father, Evert Holdaway, said that when Josh became separated from the group, "I didn't believe he was very far away, which turned out to be wrong. When they couldn't find him, it was devastating.
"I prayed a lot through the ordeal, probably every five minutes while he was lost. Josh tells me that he couldn't have made it through the night without Heavenly Father's help. He believes in Heavenly Father and Jesus and believes in the priesthood blessings he has received. He has an incredible amount of faith."
Josh said that when he realized he was lost, he started to "panic really bad, but then I said my prayers and felt like I could do it, like Heavenly Father was going to help me through it. I felt that I wouldn't die, and to keep on going. So I just started walking down the ravine."
During the bitter-cold night that followed, the temperature dropped to 38-below with the windchill. As he walked, Josh lost feeling in his feet and fingers, which had frozen.
"There were probably a hundred times I almost gave up, but I never did," he said. And as he discussed his lonely ordeal, the young man recalled how he never felt completely alone.
When he became lost, his mother, Andrea, was contacted and traveled to the cabin where the group had been staying to join her husband and the searchers. Josh's sister, Jessica, 16, and his brothers Isaac and Gabriel, ages 12 and 7, were up all night with their grandmother and aunt.
"We prayed all night long," said Jessica. "It was scary at first. We're just glad he's alive." Josh's parents, extended family and ward members offered up countless prayers that night on his behalf as well.
"I don't know how long I slept," Josh said, explaining how in the early morning hours he had burrowed under a log to get out of the wind and had fallen asleep, exhausted. "That's the unusual part about it. I know I should have frozen up there. Before I slept I had really bad hypothermia. When I woke up, I didn't have it. I feel that Heavenly Father made it so I slept with some warmth around me."
Josh also spoke about another source of support he felt during the night. His grandfather, Reid Hunter, died last Oct. 5 - Josh's birthday. The two had a close relationship and had spent a good deal of time together.
"One of the things that kept me going through the night was him," said Josh. "I was really close to him. I sort of felt up there that he died on my birthday to help me out, that he was there all night. I didn't feel alone, and that was probably the thing that got me through it."
One of the people in the rescue helicopter that found Josh was paramedic Jake Hunt, a member of the Centerville 14th Ward, Centerville Utah North Stake. He had flown up that morning out of LDS Hospital as part of a Life Flight crew. Arriving at the search area, the crew landed to receive instructions and quickly took off to help. Another helicopter from the Salt Lake County Sheriff's Department was also searching the area.
Though they had been directed to look for Josh in a particular area, Brother Hunt and a member of the search and rescue unit on board felt the likelihood of the young man being there was not great. They requested permission from search headquarters to move back into the area where Josh had last been seen the night before. As they returned to that area, they quickly spotted him, walking slowly along the ravine. It was close to 9 a.m. Sunday morning, Jan. 1.
The Holdaways and others felt Josh's rescue - and survival - were direct answers to many prayers. Just minutes before the young man was found, Brother and Sister Holdaway knelt in prayer at the cabin, and Brother Holdaway pled with the Lord to direct the helicopter to his son, according to Sister Holdaway.
Upon being found, the young man was transported to LDS Hospital, where he underwent treatment for frostbite and hypothermia. His ordeal since then has not been an easy one, though he has continued to receive tremendous support spiritually and from many people.
Josh has received several priesthood blessings that have been great sources of comfort, peace and healing. His ward fasted for him twice, before he went in on two occasions for surgery on his hands. He has had many visits from family, friends, fellow Aaronic Priesthood quorum members and ward and stake leaders.
He also was visited by President Thomas S. Monson, second counselor in the First Presidency, and Elder John E. Fowler of the Seventy and president of the Utah North Area.
"Our ward has been absolutely wonderful and given us lots of support," she said. "We have had letters from people we don't know, beautiful letters from people who felt strongly that they should write and say they knew Josh was protected, and that there was another hand in it. Some of them have been from people who are not LDS, and it's neat they have felt that."
Brother Holdaway said it has been amazing how much support he and his family have derived from others. "It's been a great comfort to know that you've got good friends and that the Church is there for you."
"This experience has been a tremendous test for Josh, of course, but he has had a good, positive attitude about things," said Bishop Alan E. Merryweather, with whom Josh served as an assistant in the priests quorum for six months. "The thing that amazes me is the faith this young man has. He knows that things will ultimately work out for the best."
Josh is pursuing his studies at home and will graduate this spring with his senior class at Bingham High School. He enjoys fly fishing, playing basketball and doing about anything outdoors. He speaks of someday being a forest ranger. A full-time mission is also in his plans.
But for now, he'll work hard at rehabilitating his hands and feet and can hardly wait to get up and about, according to his mother.
"He's a great young man, one of the choice ones," said Bishop Merryweather. "He's a humble young man who has lots of faith, tremendous courage and a remarkable ability to adjust to the circumstances he has been given."