As the years go by, comedian Steven Wright seems more and more like a cross between John-Paul Sartre and Bozo the Clown. Funny and philosophical, amused and perplexed, he continues to make his audiences both think and laugh as he ponders the meanings of life in an unfathomable universe.
"Babies don't need a vacation," he'll say. "But I still see them at the beach." Or "Everybody dies instantly. It's the only way you can die. You're alive, your alive, your alive, and then you're dead." Or "I'm keeping a journal about what it's like to read my diary. `Day 1: Day 1. Day 2: Day 2.' "Wright was in Salt Lake City Sunday night for a show at the Capitol Theatre. It was his first appearance here in nearly three years.
He's gotten balder since the last time, and the hair that remains now sticks up and out like Bozo's. He has a beard now, too, and the total effect is that he looks sort of like one of those deranged, homeless men who mutter on the street.
Wright likes to mutter, delivering his jokes in a dead-pan monotone. Also he paces and rubs his head, as if life is just much too confusing to contemplate.
Here's a Wright sampler from Sunday night:
"I have two brothers and one sister. But my sister has three brothers. I told her, `Look, you're not really in this family. You're the only one who doesn't have a sister.' "
And "I'm tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity."
And, "I bought some land. It was kind of cheap. It was on someone else's property."
And "Is there a space between the paint and the wall?"
Wright has made a successful career out of such literal one-liners that take life as we know it and turn it to just an odd enough angle that it begins to look totally different.
"My friend George has an answering machine on his car phone. It says, `Hi. I'm home right now so I can't take your call.' "
And "I went to the Tourist Information Booth. I said, `Yeah, so tell me about some people who were here last year.' "
And "My school colors were clear. I'm not naked. I'm in the band." (By the way, the word "naked" brought on not only laughter but applause from the Capitol Theatre crowd, as did Wright's occasional use of certain four-letter words. It appears that Utah audiences have not matured much since Wright was here last.)
At least half of Wright's material Sunday night was new, but he also included some old jokes, like this personal favorite: "Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I want to know how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.' "
Opening for Wright was John Haymon, who was introduced as a writer for "Seinfeld." Perhaps this is why his delivery is very Seinfeldesque. Particularly in jokes like: "Twinkie Lites. Who is this product for? Is there a 9-year-old somewhere saying "I've really let myself go. I can't eat like I could when I was 6."
Unlike Wright, Haymon finds his inspiration in the more usual places: air travel, baseball, dating angst. Still, he is a funny guy. "I'm half Mormon, half Jewish," he told the crowd. "The Church of Latter-Day Retailers. I have one wife but 16 credit cards."