Can one be honored for having mastered the art of unconditional love?
Janet Griffin Lee will receive the 1996 Heritage Award from the Utah-California Women on Nov. 30.In addition to honoring Lee, the women's organization will raise funds for the Utah Special Olym-pics with its traditional holiday boutique. This year the boutique will be open from 9 a.m to 7 p.m. (See accompanying box for details.) Gifts for sale will include floral arrangements, tole-painted items, jewelry, dolls and toys, Christmas decorations, and cosmetics, and the Special Olympics will have an appliance booth.
When Lee is introduced at the luncheon, Utah-California Women president Suzanne Turner Merrill will mention that Lee was born in Paris, France, where her father was a U.S. Treasury official. She'll say that Janet Lee is the wife of the late Rex Lee, who clerked for a justice of the Supreme Court, was an assistant U.S. attorney general and U.S. solicitor general.
Merrill will remark that while Lee's husband was president of Brigham Young University, she was honored with the BYU Student Association Exemplary Womanhood Award. And it will certainly be noted that the Lees are the parents of seven children and 12 grandchildren.
But it's Janet Lee's love that leaves a lasting impression upon those who meet her. Eight months after her husband's death, she is fulfilling speaking engagements, "doing the mother thing" with her daughter and newest grandchild in Hong Kong and the co-author of the recently published "Marathon of Faith" about the Lees' experiences in dealing with cancer.
Lee said "Marathon of Faith" is a running journal record of "not just his battle with cancer but with the challenges. It's really our love story we were keeping for our children. He was the one who wanted it published. I'm a bit more private. But we wrote it side-by-side, like we spoke together," she said.
She speaks about how Rex Lee cared about those around him. "Rex just loved people. It was genuine with him, never feigned or false. It was just an adventure to be married to him. He supported me in all I did. I miss him a lot," she said at her Provo home.
Lee told of when Rex's doctor finally whispered to her that it was time to talk with her husband about death and dying. Her husband overheard the exchange. "When I asked Rex if he was ready to talk about death and dying, he said, `No. I'm hungry. I want to go to Taco Bell and get a burrito and go to the game.' "
She reminisced about the busy years in Washington, D.C., when her husband was the U.S. solicitor general. "Rex was so involved with the children's homework. While I took the younger two to have baths and get ready for bed, he'd be helping the older kids with math and science homework," she said.
Oddly enough, Lee says it was the "lean" years that her children have the fondest memories of. She said that in the early years the family lived on macaroni and cheese and waffles. They didn't go out to eat, "not even to McDonald's," or to movies. "We had a firepit in the backyard and we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. On Sunday afternoons when I went upstairs to nurse the baby and fall asleep, Rex had projects. He had molds for candles and the kids would make home movies where they wrote a script and made costumes," she said. "Those are the hard times, but many times they are the best. It's funny, but it's not the expensive tickets to Ballet West that the kids remember," she said.
Anyone other than Rex Lee would have been bedridden during the last two years of his second bout with cancer, Janet Lee said. "The last time he went to the hospital, he was oxygen deprived but he didn't want to leave until I went back to get his briefcase. He was working on a Supreme Court argument and he didn't want to leave without it," she said. "It wasn't that he didn't know how to relax, it's just that he efficiently utilized every moment," Lee said.
Lee continues to attend BYU functions and was recently named as an honored alumna of the school's education department. She rode in the homecoming parade and spoke at the closing homecoming fireside. "I still go to the games. Many people think it would be difficult, but it's a comfortable place for me to be. When I'm there, I wish he were with me."
Lee is back at writing, and her next book will be about parables. "Christ taught with parables, using the things that people related to. I've always been fascinated by parables. When I was a young girl in Texas, I would sit by the irrigation ditch and write parables," she said.
In addition, she is serving on the Deseret Book board of directors and on the LDS Young Women's general board. And, of course, she has her family. "These children are my best friends," she said. "Our seven children and 12 grandchildren are the jewels, the stars in my life."
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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
`Centennial Christmas'
Utah-California Women "Centennial Christmas - Utah Style":
When: Saturday, Nov. 30; boutique 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; lunch and program 12-2:45 p.m.
Where: Salt Palace Grand Ballroom.
What: Holiday shopping from 80 vendors, luncheon honoring Heritage Award recipient Janet Lee, entertainment by the Knudsen Brothers. Benefits the Utah Special Olympics.
Tickets: Admission to boutique is free; luncheon and program (including door prizes) $24. In Utah County call Pam Rowbotham at 224-4415 or Eathel Winkleman at 221-1505. For Salt Lake or Davis counties call Erma Allen at 966-1143 or Mary Dawn Cuff at 269-9955.