We are, it appears, a nation that likes to be inspired. Especially if it doesn't take too long.
We want some rules to live by. We want some pithy quotes from famous people. We want some lists. But not too many.And so we buy "Life's Little Instruction Book." Seven million of them, in fact. And we buy "Life's Little Instruction Book Vol. II" and "Life's Little Instruction Book Vol. III." We buy "Pooh's Little Instruction Book" and "Love's Little Instruction Book" and "101 Ways to Say `I Love You' " and "Nathaniel Branden's Little Blue Book of Self-Esteem." We buy "Life's Lessons for Women" and "Life's Lessons for Couples" and "Life's Lessons for Mothers." We buy "365 Ways to Make Love."
Gift books, some people call them, although you'll find many of them in the self-help section. They're small, have more white space than text (often, in fact, just one sentence per page) and generally give you a warm, fuzzy feeling. They usually cost less than $10.
"We sell a grundle of them," says Le Fuller at Barnes and Noble in Sugar House. They're especially popular at Christmas, Valentine's Day and Mother's Day, she says.
There is a certain charm about these books that is hard to deny. They're just so darn cute - usually 6 by 4 1/2 inches but sometimes even smaller, like "Kitchen Wisdoms: A Collection of Savory Quotations," for example, which is just 3 by 3 1/2 inches. They're easy to hold and don't require much work to read, either.
Sally Smith, owner of A Woman's Place bookstore, has mixed emotions about these books.
Here's one, for example, called "The Battery Book: 500 Ways to Charge Yourself Up." She bought it for her husband as a joke, but now, as she leafs through it, she finds that she likes some of the entries.
" `Take a bubble bath,' " she reads. " `Drink a glass of ovaltine.' Now I do find that comforting to read on the printed page," she decides. She reads on: " `Buy a new pair of shoes and go somewhere your old shoes haven't gone before.' I kind of like that."
She especially liked the book that started it all: "Life's Little Instruction Book" by H. Jackson Brown.
She liked the fact that the author wrote it for his son, who was heading off to college. She liked the plaid cover and she liked the actual instructions.
"But it's the most abused book I know," says Smith. Even H. Jackson Brown himself has written knock-offs of his book, she says. "He really lost me when he said - I think it was on the calendar version - `Learn how to use a pistol.' Your first thought is, `Well, why?' "
But she knows that baby boomers such as herself crave a little more structure and a little more instruction in their lives.
And then she admits a little secret. "I started my own list," she confides. "I think I called them `Good Ideas by Sal.' Smith loves to laugh at herself, so she probably won't mind sharing a few of her instructions: Do everything you can by candlelight. Feed your dog peeled baby carrots for a special treat. Spend time with people who make you laugh. Buy anything children are selling. ("This was my idea before H. Jackson Brown had it," she says.)
Of course Smith would never try to publish these. But not everyone shows such restraint. At Rutledge Hill Press in Nashville, Tenn., which publishes H. Jackson Brown's books, there is an endless stream of queries from potential authors. "Everyone has some little kind of instruction book," says Rutledge Hill's Linda Adams, who adds that her company turns down most of them.
Even cowboys have instructions. After seeing the success of H. Jackson Brown's books in the early '90s, Gibbs-Smith in Layton published Texas Bix Bender's "Don't Squat With Your Spurs On," which went on to sell half a million copies. Gibbs-Smith has published five more cowboy instruction books since then, including Gladiola Montana's "Never Ask a Man the Size of His Spread."
Moving toward a more national niche, the publishing house recently came out with "Don't Throw in the Trowel: Tips on Gardening."
"They're made for people who don't like to spend a lot of time reading," say Christopher Robbins at Gibbs-Smith. But the quips and aphorisms in the little books are useful, he says. "They're so true and so funny, they stay with you."
Like any other genre, some little books are better than others. You can never go wrong with a book that includes the best from A.A. Milne. "Pooh's Little Instruction Book" will be joined this spring by "Eeyore's (Gloomy) Little Instruction Book: Advice on Life from Eeyore . . . If Anybody Cares."
Some little books are a mixed bag. Gibbs-Smith's new "A Cynic's Guide to Love" by Bender and Montana has some gems ("The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned" - Somerset Maugham) and some filler ("When it comes to love, take the fifth . . . . Nah, make it a quart."
The best little books contain one-liners that remind you of some truth you conveniently forgot. Flip through Brown's "P.S. I Love You" and you'll find this one, for example: "Do for others with no desire of returned favors. We all should plant some trees we'll never sit under."
The worst little books remind you that lists and affirmations and even quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt aren't always good reasons to cut down trees.
"You give your life structure and focus through your goals and purposes," says page 108 of "Nathaniel Branden's Little Blue Book of Self Esteem."
"Chafing can be prevented with powders, creams or ointments. I prefer Vaseline," advises Wiliam Forgey, M.D., in "Doctor's Little Book of Wisdom."
At one local store, Forgey's book has been shelved in the humor section by mistake, although its humor is unintentional. In fact, sometimes it's hard to tell the parodies from the real thing - which by now seem to have become parodies of themselves.
Take, for example, "Life's Little Relaxation Book" by Steven Michael Selzer. Most pages are blank, save for a little McPearl of "wisdom":
"Have hot pizza delivered to be eaten slowly with family or friends at home," Selzer instructs. "Read USA Today for an upbeat and colorful news fix." "Try pitching horseshoes."