From my earliest memories, I found men attractive; and for some time, never acted out my feelings. I started on the right road, served a mission, married in the LDS temple, was a good husband and father. Read the scriptures and prayed. Served in both a bishopric and a stake presidency. I loved the Lord and his church. I kept the commandments faithfully and quietly longed for the day when my faith and obedience would cure me.
Although I was morally clean, I struggled painfully with the conflicts between my sexual feelings and my faith. I never asked for nor did anything to obtain my homosexual feelings. I realized that "man is that he might have joy," but what I was experiencing certainly was not "joy." I finally became weary of feeling guilty without justification. I lost hope and surrendered to sin. Because of my behavior, my spirit died.Through the loving support of my wife and bishop I began to get help. I was directed to a therapist who understood the complex issue of homosexuality and to Evergreen International. Evergreen is a successful nonprofit recovery group based upon LDS principles and standards. It is not affiliated with the LDS Church. Evergreen gave me a safe place where I could finally own my shame and get some answers.
I now enjoy freedom from my homosexual struggles. I have been in total recession with this issue for more than six years. I am grateful to my wife, bishop, counselor and my brethren in Evergreen. I found the Savior and found freedom.
When I was growing up, I am grateful there was not a gay/lesbian club at my high school. Unlike Evergreen, such a club, I believe, would have as its main purpose acceptance of one's "gay self." Had such a club been available to me at that impressionable age, I would have easily been talked into accepting homosexuality.
For those who struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA), there needs to be more open discussion. For me, isolation compounded my problem. However, such discussion should include possibilities for growth out of SSA and living morally clean. To affirm oneself as "gay," however, means that one has to take on an identity that may be in conflict with their values. How can a struggler choose how to deal with their SSA if acceptance of oneself as "gay" is offered as the only option?
People without hope are easy to control. And Satan knows this. That is why he has created a politically correct climate that makes it fashionable to accept one's SSA.
Name withheld