It had been quite a while since I'd gotten food . . . if that's the word . . . from McDonald's.
In fact, my most recent trip was probably sometime last summer when I took my two young grandsons there for Happy Meals.But now it was time to go again. After all, it was my professional duty to find out what this Disney Masterpiece Collection Trivia Challenge is all about.
My phone has been ringing incessantly for the past few weeks as people have called to ask about minutiae related to Disney animated films. At first I thought a local radio station was offering free T-shirts again.
But it wasn't long before I discovered that there are mouse ears on the golden arches, as Disney and McDonald's are driving people crazy with silly questions for big prizes - like a 1996 Dodge Viper or a vacation for four to Disney World in Florida or $1 million in cash.
So, I started asking callers what they were winning with the answers I provided. Perhaps I should be cut in for a share of the profits.
When each and every one offered to share, I knew the prizes couldn't be too big. They weren't. Regular fries, valued at 89 cents; a small drink, 89 cents; a cheeseburger, 79 cents; and the top prize, a Big Mac, $1.99.
In fact, I haven't talked to anyone who's won anything that even approaches a big award, though the contest advertises that "over 300 million prizes" are available.
Apparently 299,999,899 will get you a few fries.
And it doesn't really matter whether the trivia is tough or simple - even those really difficult gotta-look-'em-up questions win the same silly food items.
Of course, some of the questions aren't too tough if you've seen the films, as with these:
- "In `Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,' which one of the following dwarfs returns for extra Snow White kisses?" Choices: Bashful, Happy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc, Dopey. Winner: Dopey. Prize: regular fries.
- "In `The Lion King,' Scar is first seen doing which one of the following activities?" Choices: Scratching the wall, eating a grape, chasing an antelope, sleeping, sunning on a rock, catching a mouse. Answer: Catching a mouse. Prize: cheeseburger.
But some of the others. . . . I mean, who, aside from tried-and-true Disneyphiles, is really going to know release dates or short cartoon titles? For example:
- "Which one of the following cartoons is a `Donald Duck' series cartoon?" Choices: "Symphony Hour," "Put-Put Troubles," "Society Dog Show," "Boat Builders," "The Gorilla Mystery," "African Diary" Answer: "Put-Put Troubles." Prize: a small drink.
- "When was the `Mickey Mouse' cartoon `When the Cat's Away' first released to theaters?" Several dates are listed. Answer: 1929. Prize: a small drink.
- Here's a question that can't be answered by watching a movie or looking at the copyright date on the video box. You have to know some of the film's history. "In `Pinocchio,' which one of the following characters was added nine months after Disney's production began?" Answer: Jiminy Cricket. Prize: a small drink.
- And here's a particularly tough one, partly because of the way it's worded. "The 1931/32 `Best Cartoon Short Subject' Oscar was not won by which of the following Disney nominees?" In other words, of the six short cartoon title choices on your playing card, two were nominated in 1931/32. But the correct answer is not the winner; the correct answer is the loser! "Flowers and Trees" won the Oscar, but the correct answer is that "Mickey's Orphans" did not. Prize: a Big Mac.
You get the idea.
And, no, I didn't know all of these answers off the top of my head. I found them a reference book, "Encyclopedia of Walt Disney's Animated Characters" by John Grant (Harper & Row, 1987).
Interestingly, with all the questions I've answered - more than 50, if you count casual encounters at the office and those my kids have brought to me - I have yet to see any question duplicated.
Could it be that for the 300 million prizes there are actually 300 million questions? If so, maybe there's a really hard one lurking out there for the Sony Maximum Television Home Entertainment System or the Disney plush toy or the free McDonald's Happy Meals for a year.
Despite all this, there are really only two things that bother me. First, why is the contest called "Disney's Masterpiece Collection Trivia Challenge," when most of the questions are about short cartoons that fall outside of the "Masterpiece Collection" category?
And secondly, why do the cups and the game pieces say "No purchase necessary"?
That's obviously not true.
If you walk into a McDonald's and ask to tear a game piece off of a drink cup without purchasing one, they'd throw you out faster than you can say "Mickey Mouse!"
- THERE WERE OTHER THINGS to be learned during my trip to McDonald's as well.
For instance, the box containing my Big Mac noted that the two-all-beef-patties-on-a-sesame-seed-bun burger is the "official sandwich of the NBA."
I didn't know that.
Does the NFL have an official sandwich too? Peanut butter and jelly, perhaps?