Just how low can Mario Van Peebles' career go? "Solo."
Forgive the pun, but Van Peebles seems to have given up on being his father, filmmaker Melvin Van Peebles. In this silly but extremely violent action-adventure, he's more content to play Arnold Schwarzenegger a la the "Terminator" movies. But his robotic delivery — delivered in a mumbled monotone — winds up sounding more like a cross between "Star Trek's" Mr. Spock and Sylvester Stallone than it does "Ah-nold."
Consequently, "Solo" is much funnier than the ads would have you believe — even though it's intended to be a sci-fi/action-adventure flick rather than a comedy.
The younger Van Peebles plays the title character, a nearly impervious android soldier who's 15 times faster than an ordinary man and 10 times stronger. Unfortunately for the U.S. Army, this "perfect killing machine" also has a conscience.
When Solo refuses to complete a mission, which would force him to kill innocents, the $2 billion experiment is scrubbed. Rather than be reprogrammed, Solo goes AWOL, only to be pursued by a rebel army and a group mercenaries, led by the ruthless Col. Madden (William Sadler).
Unbeknownst to Solo and to any of the others, the project's director, Gen. Haynes (Barry Corbin), has ordered the construction of a new, heartless robot killer (Sadler, in a dual role and looking more like one of the villainous Borg from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" than he does an android), who's also gunning for Solo.
Director Norberto Barba (a protege of Brian DePalma) makes his big-screen debut with this stinker and probably wishes he hadn't. He's not alone, either, since the extremely ludicrous premise is only the tip of this Titanic's iceberg.
In addition to Van Peebles' chuckle-inspiring performance, Sadler and Corbin (from TV's "Northern Exposure"), both playing cliche-spouting baddies, really go over the top. And don't forget the unintentionally hilarious death scene by Adrien Brody, who portrays Solo's creator — which recalls several of cartoon character Bugs Bunny's faked deaths.
But what can you expect from a predictable and pedestrian script (from former Osmond chauffeur David L. Corley!) that features such truly awful dialogue as "There's something cooking in that boy's head, and we didn't put it there" (which is delivered heroically by Corbin)?
To be fair, there are a couple of decent action sequences — the pumped-up Van Peebles does have a flair for the physical side of his performance — but Barba shoots others in slow-motion, which makes them appear as if they were lifted from an episode of "The Six Million Dollar Man."
There probably will be worse action films this year, but there probably won't be any funnier ones. "Solo" is rated PG-13 for extremely violent and bloody action, profanity and glimpses of some nude photos.