The following is a true story. Really.
Brooke Shields, much maligned (and rightfully so) for her limited acting abilities, does a guest appearance on the NBC hit "Friends." She acquits herself quite well - owing her success to the writers of that show.Executives at NBC and Warner Bros., which produces "Friends," see something in Shields' performance that makes them think, "Hey, she could be the star of her own sitcom!"
So, they set out to create a show to showcase Shields' talents, such as they are.
Warner Bros. produces a pilot called "Suddenly Susan." The folks at NBC say, "Great!" and pick it up for this fall.
Not only that, but they're so impressed with the pilot that they give it the most coveted time slot on network television - Thursdays at 8:30 p.m., right between No. 2-rated "Seinfeld" and No. 1-rated "ER."
But . . . NBC wants a few changes in the show. A few changes that include:
- Dumping the show's executive producers and writers and replacing them with the former executive producers of "Murphy Brown."
- Dumping the entire supporting cast that appeared in the original "Suddenly Susan" and replacing them with an entirely new supporting cast.
- Moving the setting of the show from Los Angeles to San Francisco.
- Giving Susan a new job. Instead of working as a book editor, she's now a magazine columnist.
- Changing pretty much everything but Shields herself.
Really. I am not making this up.
What makes all of this even more odd is that the second "Suddenly Susan" pilot is worse than the first one.
Which is not to say that the first pilot was great. It wasn't.
But it was likable and rather pleasant to watch.
The revised "Suddenly Susan," on the other hand, is loud, brash and in the gag-a-minute vein. And most of those gags aren't particularly funny.
The original version didn't feature Judd Nelson in the supporting cast. The revised version does.
Apparently, the producers thought that by bringing aboard another actor of extremely limited talents it would make Shields' extremely limited talents less noticeable.
Although viewers at home won't be able to make a comparison, the differences in the character of Susan's grandmother typify what has been done to "Suddenly Susan." Played in the original by Nancy Marchand ("Lou Grant"), the grandmother was feisty and outspoken but believable.
Played in the revised version by Barbara Barrie, the grandmother is still feisty but in a much more loud-mouth, smart-aleck way that has turned her into a caricature instead of a character.
The premise for "Suddenly Susan" has Susan jilting her rich-but-boring fiance at the altar. She goes back to the magazine where she had just quit her job to beg to be rehired - by her ex-fiance's brother (Nelson). He decides that she isn't boring now and hires her to write a singles column.
The office is populated with offbeat, largely unbelievable characters. And, apparently, the aim of "Suddenly Susan" is to show us the horrors of being single and dating.
Ah, what fun.
Of course, it is going to air between the No. 1 and No. 2 shows on television - so, good or not, "Suddenly Susan" is going to be a hit.
"MOLONEY": Peter Strauss has proven over the years in innumerable TV movies and miniseries that he's a talented, charismatic actor.
Too bad that his new series, "Moloney," isn't worthy of his talents.
Not that the show, which debuts at 8 p.m. on CBS/Ch. 2, is awful. It's OK.
But it's nothing worth getting excited about. And it looks like pieces of a lot of old shows spliced together.
Strauss stars as Nick Moloney, a police psychiatrist and single father. His duties include dealing with troubled cops, defusing difficult situations with suspects and hostage negotiations.
He's a nice guy, but the character is just a little too slick to be believable. A little too smug, a little too glib, a little too full of himself.
But the main failing in "Moloney" is that it's just too predictable. Tonight's pilot, for example, telegraphs the ending less than 10 minutes into the episode.
But there are worse ways to spend an hour. If you're a fan of old cop shows, you may like "Moloney."
You may even recognize some of the plots.
"THE PRETENDER": Jarod Russell has to be the smartest nice guy on television.
As played by Michael T. Weiss, the title character in "The Pretender" (which debuts tonight at 9 on NBC/Ch. 5) has only two goals in life.
First, to find out what happened to his parents.
And, second, to do good in the world.
Jarod is a genius. Apparently kidnapped as a small child by agents of the Centre - a clandestine research institute - Jarod's talents have been put to various nefarious purposes for the past 30 years.
But Jarod has just escaped. And, tortured by the thought that his genius may have helped the Centre do wrong, he wants to right as many wrongs as possible.
This is made easier by the fact that he's a genius and can pretend to be just about anything. In tonight's pilot episode, we see him as a doctor and as an airline pilot.
And he uses his pretending talents to set things straight for an orphan boy who was paralyzed because of negligence on the part of a doctor.
Jarod's do-gooding is complicated by the fact that the Centre wants him back and has sent an agent (Andrea Parker) to get him - preferably, but not necessarily, alive.
"The Pretender" is kind of corny but quite a bit of fun. It's a diverting hour with plenty of possibilities.
"The Pretender" moves to its regular time slot on Saturday, Sept. 28, at 8 p.m. on NBC/Ch. 5.
VIDBITS: MTV's "The Real World" is going to Boston next season. If you're young, good-looking and just dying to live in a house and have your life taped, called the casting hotline at (818) 754-5790.
Or, if you want to be on "Real World's" sister series, "Road Rules," call (818) 754-5730.
- NBC's "Seinfeld" and "ER" have made television history. This season, they're the first shows to ever command $1 million per min-ute in advertising.
"Seinfeld" leads the way, charging $550,000 per 30-second commercial - up from $450,000 last season. A half-minute commercial on "ER" will set you back half a million dollars, up from $390,000 last season.