Joaquin gave Luz Maria one of his school pictures. On the back it said: "To Luz Maria. Love, Joaquin." Sally saw it and started teasing: "Luz Maria has a boyfriend. Luz Maria has a boyfriend."
Luz Maria gave the picture back. Joaquin returned it to her desk. Luz Maria tore it up and threw it in his face. Joaquin told the teacher. The teacher said he should ask first before giving a picture to a classmate.End of story. But not the end of the confused and hurt feelings on both sides.
My husband talked about how bad Joaquin must feel. I considered how embarrassed Luz Maria must have been. Which only goes to show that, while they may not come from Mars and Venus, men and women do come from opposite sides of a chasm that is bridged only with great effort.
This classroom drama from my little girl's first grade (I changed the names) also illustrates how early boys and girls can start distracting each other from the more important business of learning.
They have a lot to teach each other. But maybe they don't belong in class together.
The thought of public schools segregated by gender bubbles with danger. Schools segregated by race were designed to keep some people down. "Separate but equal" is a phrase of shame in America's history.
Women may have come a long way, baby. But there are still dinosaurs in pants who would like nothing better than a return to the days when the little woman left the big decisions to fathers, husbands or brothers. For them, all-girl schools would be a chance to program the perfect female: obedient and well-groomed.
But some girls get derailed in coeducational classes. A 1992 study by the American Association of University Women found that boys get called on more often and are more challenged intellectually than girls.
Problems compound in higher grades. Researchers talk about adolescent shutdown, in which girls who were once good students grow silent in class, intimidated by the more demonstrative boys. They begin to concentrate more on looking good and wondering if they are thin enough.
Boys, too, probably suffer from the distractions of trying to impress the girls while dealing with budding sexuality.
Girls and boys will share the world as adults. But women might be better prepared to close the pay gap and other inequities between the sexes if they were grounded in schools that cherished and cultivated their special qualities. Men might feel less threatened by strong women if they didn't grow up having pictures thrown in their faces.
Last year California passed legislation that offers $500,000 to each public school district that creates dual academies to teach boys and girls separately. Three awards have been approved, according to the New York Times, Early, informal results show the girls are less inhibited and the boys get better grades.
Mary Gifford, executive director of the Arizona State Board for Charter Schools, said legislation would be necessary in Arizona before the state could approve charter schools catering only to boys or girls.
The Legislature ought to consider giving all public schools an incentive to try a same-gender option.
It won't be for everybody. It won't solve all of the problems in education or society. But it might give both boys and girls a better chance to reach their potential separately so they can face life's challenges together.