Howard Stern was a guest on David Letterman's program last week - for the second time in less than three weeks. That's really unusual for Letterman, but Stern's a big movie star now. Just ask him.
And as you might suspect, Stern was still crowing about how, on its opening weekend, his movie "Private Parts" beat out the first two "Star Wars" pictures. Of course, the New York radio shock-jock didn't mention that "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back" had both been playing for several weeks by that time.He was also steamed at newspaper accounts that suggested Paramount Pictures was disappointed because "Private Parts" was slaughtered by the third "Star Wars" film, "Return of the Jedi," when it opened last weekend. (He should thank his lucky stars that the original "Jedi" opening was pushed back a week, or "Private Parts" wouldn't have earned No. 1 movie status at all.)
Stern protested that "Private Parts" had earned some $30 million in its first week and a half! And he's right - that's pretty good.
But the film also suffered a dramatic drop-off after its initial weekend and now is moving slower than another recent Paramount "cult" effort, "Beavis and Butt-Head Do America."
Let's face it, "Private Parts" will never even approach "Star Wars" numbers. But there's something else about this that is even more significant.
Last weekend, "Private Parts" was not just trailing behind "Return of the Jedi." It was also trailing behind "Jungle 2 Jungle," the family comedy starring Tim Allen.
And in the long run, "Jungle" will likely far outgross "Parts."
Don't look for Stern to make another appearance on Letterman in two or three months to examine his film's total earnings, however. For someone like him, being overtaken by Allen will be more than his ego can stand.
- BOX-OFFICE KING: Shifting gears to the real deal - or, perhaps the reel deal - what movie star has more blockbusters (Hollywood's designation for movies that earn more than $100 million) than any other?
Time's up. It's Harrison Ford, with eight!
In descending order, they are "Star Wars," "Return of the Jedi," "Raiders of the Lost Ark," "The Empire Strikes Back," "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," "The Fugitive," "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" and "Clear and Present Danger."
And Ford's runners-up, just below that blockbuster benchmark, are "Presumed Innocent," "Patriot Games," "Witness," "Working Girl" and "Sabrina."
As of Wednesday, no less than six of Ford's movies will be in Salt Lake area theaters.
On that day, his latest, "The Devil's Own," opens up. And we also have the three "Star Wars" movies playing at theaters all over town, as well as the first two "Indiana Jones" movies in a double-bill at the Murray Theater.
- COLD HANDS, WARM . . . : Believe it or not, Universal Pictures sent out a notice to all sponsors of "Liar Liar" pre-opening screenings insisting that "under no circumstances" could newspapers or radio or television stations do a " `Liar Liar' Pants on Fire" promotion.
Apparently the studio chiefs feel that "Liar Liar" is such a classy motion picture that promotions stooping to the childish phrase "Liar, liar, pants on fire" would be demeaning.
Or maybe they're just big dumb-dumb heads.
Sorry.
Anyway, here are some alternatives to "Pants on Fire" that promoters could have considered: "Trousers On Fire," "Overalls Burning," "Undies Aflame," "Pantaloons on a Pyre," "Cords in Combustion," "Bloomers Ablaze". . . .
- WHERE'S THE REST OF ME? Speaking of "Liar Liar," the elaborate physical gyrations that Jim Carrey puts himself through brought another movie to mind - "All of Me," with Steve Martin (and a very different plot).
In "Liar Liar," Carrey magically finds that he cannot tell a lie, and he is so surprised by what comes out of his mouth that he reacts wildly.
In "All of Me," Martin finds his body possessed by the spirit of a deceased wealthy matron (Lily Tomlin), and his attempts to control her feminine gestures makes for equally hilarious slapstick.
"All of Me" is a much more satisfying piece, as Martin develops a more fully rounded character than Carrey's. But both films are very funny.
- A CUT-UP IS CUT OUT: Tracey Ullman, who had a prominent role in Woody Allen's "Bullets Over Broadway," was also supposed to appear in his musical "Everyone Says I Love You." In fact, she worked on the film and performed two songs.
She is nowhere to be seen in the finished product, however.
It seems the Woodman wanted to keep his movie to under 100 minutes, and to do so something had to go. Goldie Hawn, Julia Roberts and Drew Barrymore stayed in, but Ullman's entire role was deleted.
Aside from Hawn, Ullman was the only professionally trained singer in the cast, and considering the vocal talents displayed in the film by Roberts and Allen himself, it seems a curious choice.
- INDEPENDENTS DAY: In light of independent pictures dominating the Oscar race this year, there's been a lot written about the fact that many of the nominated movies haven't even played in much of the country.
And as a result there are quite a few moviegoers who have not been able to see "Secrets & Lies," "Sling Blade," "Marvin's Room," "Breaking the Waves," "The Portrait of a Lady," "Shine" or "The English Patient" . . . much less the foreign-language nominees.
Thankfully, after these films run their theatrical course, they will be released on videocassette. And now there's a new tape label for independent movies from the Sun-dance Channel, Robert Red-ford's cable/satellite station that caters to independent productions, an offshoot of the Sundance Film Festival held in Park City each January.
A sub-label of PolyGram, it is called, appropriately enough, "Sundance Channel Recommends," and the first releases include Christopher Hampton's "Carrington," with Emma Thompson and Jonathan Pryce; Jim Jarmusch's "Down By Law," starring Tom Waits and Ellen Barkin, and Alan Rudolph's "Choose Me," featuring Keith Carradine and Genevieve Bujold. Many more titles are scheduled to follow.
There are quite a few video labels releasing independents these days, most of them tied to such "mini-major" studios as October and Miramax. The Sundance push just puts more emphasis on getting these small, low-budget films out into the market place.
But just because the videos are out there doesn't mean rental stores will buy them so you can rent them.
Moviegoers who live in small towns where video stores don't carry art-house fare will still be in the same boat. No easy access.
We're fortunate that Salt Lake City has a couple of theaters that play foreign-language and independently produced movies, and that there are several video stores around the valley that carry similar fare on tape.
See? We're more sophisticated than you might think.
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Harrison Ford, whose latest film "The Devil's Own" opens Wednesday, and who co-stars in George Lucas' "Star Wars" trilogy, currently burning up the box office again:
"It's a little-known fact, but I actually wanted Han Solo to die at the end of the last one. I thought it would give the movie weight and resonance. But George Lucas was not sympathetic. He didn't want me killed by those teddy-bear guys."
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK II: John Ritter, the former TV sitcom star ("Three's Company"), who has a change-of-pace role in Billy Bob Thornton's "Sling Blade":
"If Horton Foote and David Lynch ran at each other at 100 miles per hour and collided head-on, the result would be someone like Billy Bob."