I am a bad golfer. When most golfers say they are "bad," they mean that they have trouble breaking 100. I am usually happy to break 115.
But even as a bad golfer, I know one thing: There are times when you should get the heck out of the way. This is the central tenet of golf etiquette. And the sad thing is, there are golfers who are much, much better than me who don't understand it.Tiger Woods' annihilation - win seems too weak a word to use here - three Sundays ago at the Masters will undoubtedly increase the number of weekend golfers on public courses. Problem is, most will want to emulate Woods' mammoth drives and not his considerable class.
So, for you wannabe hackers, we present a crash course in golf etiquette.
Practice first. Go to a driving range. Take lessons. Do something before you head out onto a public course. Even with this preparation, your first time on the course is likely to be a humbling experience. It'll be even more humbling if it's the first time you've ever swung a club.
Just hit the ball. You're not a pro. If you were, you wouldn't be playing a public course for 20 bucks. So there's no reason for you to use the honors system (low score on the previous hole goes first) on the tee box. If things are backed up behind you and you're ready to hit, then hit, even if you just scored an 8 and the guy getting a beer had a par. While on the green, you might consider invoking the "continuous putting rule." If your approach putt comes to rest 2 feet from the hole, go ahead and sink it rather than marking the ball and deferring to the player who is the farthest away from the hole. You'll be surprised how much time this saves.
Get out of the way. If you're on the tee box and a faster group catches up with you, let that group play through. If you're in the rough looking for a lost ball and people are waiting behind you, either give up on that ball or wave the other guys through. (If you're new, you shouldn't be playing with balls that cost you more than, say, 50 cents a pop anyway.)
Be honest. Yeah, it's easier said than done, but try. Golf is one of the few sports were sportsmanship is still considered an integral part of the game. If you knocked the ball in the water, it's a penalty stroke. Score it. That 114 isn't going to look any more impressive than a 115.
Be supportive. If you're playing with someone who isn't as good as you, don't be demeaning and make them feel uncomfortable - that will only make them play worse. Instead, compliment them when they make a good shot or a good putt. P.S.: Giving unsolicited on-course advice isn't bad golf etiquette, but it is usually a bad idea.
Remember that you are not Tiger Woods, or Tom Kite, or . . .: There's little to be gained from players of our level spending a lot of time analyzing the line of a putt.
If you must adopt a pro mode on the green, emulate the late Julius Boros. Bend down and look at the putt one time (preferably while your partner is putting) and calculate which way you think the ball will break. Then walk up and hit it. Boros never stood over a putt more than one second, and he sank more than his share of long ones.