It wasn't so long ago that the term "television ratings" had only one meaning - the numbers that indicate how many people are watching TV shows.
But "TV ratings" now has a double meaning - the term is also used to refer to content ratings like TV-PG and TV-14. And it can get a bit confusing, even for people who work in television. Even for people like Stu Bloomberg, who recently took over as chairman of ABC Entertainment with a mandate to make the network competitive with No. 1 NBC once again."I started this job three weeks ago, and I was in my office one hour," Bloomberg said. "And (NBC Entertainment President) Warren Littlefield called and said, `Stu, we'd really like ABC to get behind us in the ratings.
"And I'm thinking, `We are!' "
Littlefield, of course, was talking about NBC's decision to spurn efforts to add letters like V (violence) and S (sexual content) to the content ratings.
"But I didn't know what he was talking about," Bloomberg said.
PRETTY SCARY: Adrian Pasdar ("Profit," "Feds") is starring in the upcoming NBC miniseries "House of Frankenstein." It's set in the present day Los Angeles, but it features the Frankenstein monster, Dracula and a werewolf.
And Pasdar says he finds the premise somewhat believable.
"Personally, I think that some of these monsters are more human than a lot of the people I run across on a day-to-day basis in this business," he said.
And he's not entirely sure that supernatural beings like these really aren't out there.
"Do I believe in vampires? I've got an agent," Pasdar said. "Even more, I've got a manager. So, yes, I believe full well in vampires, bloodletting and sucking as part of the business."
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS: At at NBC-organized press conference to promote "House of Frankenstein," the miniseries' executive producer, David Israel, was asked if he thought it could lead to a weekly series.
"If they have any brains," he said, referring to NBC programming executives. "But `Fired Up' is on the air, so who knows?"
I wouldn't hold my breath on "Frankenstein" becoming a series on the Peacock network.
NEVER-ENDING: Michael Braverman has been brought on as executive producer "Beverly Hills, 90210" as the show enters it eighth season this fall. Braverman's credits, believe it or not, include helming the award-winning family drama "Life Goes On" during its four-season run.
Of course, you've got to wonder if anyone can breathe life into "90210," which hasn't had a fresh idea in three, maybe four years.
At this point, perhaps the show should be retitled "90210 Goes On and On and On and On."
TEDIOUS: During a particularly dreadful press conference to promote that eighth season of "Beverly Hills, 90210," there were a number of questions dealing with the development of various characters on the show.
Which led one colleague to observe, "What a waste of time. Asking questions about character development on this show is like asking for the blueprints for a lean-to."
WE'RE NOT THAT STUPID: OK, so maybe it's not the worst thing in the world to underestimate the intelligence of a room full of TV critics. But it's hard to top the disingenuous answers that come out of the annual Miss America pageant press conference, which are an insult to TV watchers.
Leonard Horn, the president and CEO of the Miss America Organization and executive producer of the TV broadcast, apparently is under the impression that we're all incredibly stupid. His big announcement this year was that the contestants will be allowed to wear two-piece swimsuits during the competition.
"There won't be any thongs or any bikinis," Horn said. "It's got to be in good taste. It's not supposed to be sexual or sexy, and it will not be."
So . . . these will be non-sexy two-piece bathing suits?
Yeah, right. Now tell us the one about how this is a scholarship pageant, not a beauty pageant.
And, as usual, Horn and pro-ducer/director Jeff Margolis did just that. But then, they do just that every year.
That's why people tune in - to check out the contestants' IQs.
EVERYBODY'S GOT TO START SOMEWHERE: Charles H. Eglee is a Yale graduate who began as a teacher at the Ivy League school before he went on to a distinguished television career that includes producing and writing credits on such fine series as "St. Elsewhere," "Moonlighting," "L.A. Law," "NYPD Blue" and "Murder One." He's been nominated for Emmys and even a Humanitas Prize.
But everybody has to start somewhere in show business, and he started with schlock horrormeister Roger Corman. Eglee co-wrote "Piranha II: The Spawning" with James Cameron, who went on to become a big-time movie director.
The original "Piranha," of course, was a little film in which "the government bred these piranha to depopulate the Mekong Delta, only they got out into the Mississippi," Eglee said. "Now, in `Piranha II," they got into the Gulf of Mexico where they bred with flying fish, so you had flying carnivorous fish."
While working for Corman, Eglee went on to write and produce the "mutant rodent epic" titled "Deadly Eyes." And he even got to act in another Corman film.
"My one and only film appearance was in `Crazy Mama' or `Bloody Mama' or something like that," he said. (It was "Crazy Mama.") "I was in a scene with Cloris Leachman, and she scared me to death so I decided to move behind the camera."
Along with everyone else, Eglee laughs about these credits now. But he's grateful for the leg up they gave him in Hollywood.
"The thing is, when I first came out here and was trying to break into the business, Roger Corman and those kinds of guys were where everyone was working because those movies were getting made," he said. "And you look at the people who came out of those films, whether it was Cameron or Joe Dante or just the whole long list. Those were the films we did.
"It was a way to work at your craft and support yourself - and hang on until you could get out of it and do something else."
Also, he admits "It was a hoot."
It was also a valuable lesson in the problems that arise when you're trying to produce a movie. Like that mutant rodent epic, "Deadly Eyes."
"The rats were actually little dogs - dachshunds in rat suits," Eglee said. "I learned a lot about production because one of the dogs died, and I had to contact the insurance company because they were insured for a lot of money. And I found out that the company had a one-dog deductible.
"So I like to think that it helped me get my chops as a producer, working in those kinds of dire, stressful conditions."
DIAGNOSIS: UNHAPPINESS: Scott Baio, who's starring in the new Fox sitcom "Rewind" this fall, had a steady job for a couple of years - a job that he gave up voluntarily.
He quit his co-starring role on "Diagnosis: Murder."
"I was not cut out for that kind of show," he said, referring to hourlong dramas.
"I love half-hour (comedies)," Baio said. "It's my favorite thing in the world. It's a much easier schedule than a one-hour show. You have four days to play and to fix and to change and to create. I enjoy that."
He acknowledged that "Diagnosis: Murder" star Dick Van Dyke is "a wonderful guy" and said he "loved everybody" who worked on the show and had "a really good time every day." But that wasn't enough.
"I didn't like the way the stories were going. And it just got to the point where . . . creatively it did nothing for me. . . . I just had to go," he said.
A BIT OF TRUTH: You've got to give Baio some credit, however. In an arena where insincerity is a way of life, the man best known as Chachi gave an answer you've got to believe is true.
Asked if he remains in contact with his old "Happy Days" co-stars, Baio replied, "Not really.
"I mean, I sort of talk to (producer) Garry Marshall every now and then, but it's kind of like when you live in a neighborhood for eight or nine years and you move. You say, `Oh, let's keep in touch' and `Oh, I'll miss you.' And then, two weeks later, you've got new friends and you're on to different things."