Among some of the interesting e-mail I receive whenever I write about the interactions between men and women was an intriguing question from a man in Bountiful.
He described television ads in which teenage girls evaluate a man's backside, then appraise the result appreciatively. He asked, ". . . why is it OK for young ladies to look at young men's backsides but it is outrageous for young men to do the same?"Assuming he meant it's socially unacceptable for young men to look at young women's posteriors, I found this reader's puzzlement, well, puzzling. It should be unacceptable for anybody to ogle any part of anybody's body. With the possible exception in certain circumstances of people who are married to each other.
But from strictly a woman's point of view, I have to sympathize with the attitude that, in a way, it's payback time.
My e-mail friend says he's concerned that ". . . there is a developing double standard." I hate to point out the obvious, but there has always been a double standard; what's new is that women are just beginning to play that game. Since long before anyone began keeping score, men have been winning the double-standard contest. Actually, there has been no contest at all.
What woman hasn't been embarrassed if not downright humiliated at some time by some man staring at, pointing at or commenting on her body? I grew up during the era when there was nothing politically incorrect about judging girls and women almost exclusively on their appearance.
And when the only characteristic that matters about a person is her body, she is often devalued to the point where she believes her only worthwhile occupation is to comfort or provide profane entertainment for the people who are of the gender that really matters.
The oldies radio stations still play songs like "Girls Were Made to Be Hurt," and "Stand By Your Man." The Beach Boys sang about girls on the beach or in hot cars as if they were there only for the enjoyment of the boys. Girls whose body parts didn't meet a certain standard were of little consequence.
Men who don't engage in that sort of obvious assessment of women's physical characteristics can try to minimize its existence and the effect it has on women's self-esteem, but the fact is the decade of the '90s is the first time people of both sexes have begun to recognize this as the damaging, unwelcome sort of thing it is.
It's about time.
So it's understandable that women might now adopt a turnabout-is-fair-play attitude. Besides, it seems a bit less threatening, though still inappropriate, for a woman or girl to comment on how attractive a man's backside is. Her prurient interest probably isn't going to escalate into physical abuse of the man in her life.
Her tendency to appraise could be described as an aesthetic evaluation. And there is an assumption - perhaps unwarranted - that men don't mind having their rear ends assessed and ranked, so the payback will never reach the level of the original insult.
Of course, sinking to the level of lewdness certain men have occupied for centuries won't help the cause of women. Girls should be taught to respect their own bodies and everybody else's, both male and female.
But to those of us who have endured lascivious comments and looks, cute little nicknames and condescending attitudes for much of our lives, it feels good to put that shoe on somebody else's foot and hope it pinches them the same way it's hurt us all these years.