When I began writing this religion column months ago, I kept in mind three people I hoped to interview someday: the Daili Lama, Billy Graham and mother Teresa.
Now, my wish list has been trimmed by a third.
REST} Mother Teresa has joined the thousands of souls she comforted in their final hour. I hope she felt a portion of that same comfort.
The tributes paid to her in recent days have been so eloquent and heartfelt, I could easily sign, "me,too" at the bottom of each and let it go. But I wanted to mention the trait of hers I admired most - a trait I haven't heard mentioned in the eulogies.
I admired the way Mother Teresa upset good, conscientious people.
Yes, she mad us all feel antsy for not doing more than we do. But I liked the way her choices often got under the skin of honest, decent souls.
When she spoke about the evils of abortion while receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, when she'd accept large sums of money from shady sources, when she'd consort with scoundrels and self-promoters, even her loyal fans tended to blanch.
When asked her feelings about people who amass obscene fortunes for themselves, she replied:
(Jesus) comes even in the bodies of the rich, chocked by their own riches. He comes in the loneliness of their hearts and when there is no one to love them.
Maybe there is a rich person who has no one to visit him. He has plenty of things, he is really drowned in them, but there is no human touch and he needs that touch.
The press and others took her to task for her behavior. Yes, she did accept large contributions from Jean-Claude Duvalier, the ruthless leader of Haiti. And, yes, she did send a letter to Judge Lance Ito asking him to go easy on her friend Charles Keating - the S&L scandal man.
But the implication of her accusers was she hadn't thought things through. Consorting with scoundrels, accepting tainted funds? Didn't she know what message that sent? Didn't she see the injustice of her actions?
Well, yes she did.
But Mother Teresa was never about justice.
She was always about mercy.
She followed the counsel of Thomas Aquinas: "Ransom the captives and visit the prisoners." And in Mother Teresa's eyes, we were all prisoners. Some of us were prisoners of poverty and disease, some of us were prisoners of money or beauty or power.
Some of us were prisoners of pride.
And Mother Teresa worked hard to ransom us. And she did it, she said, by seeing the features of Jesus on every face that came her way. She took the scriptures literally. Whatever we do for the "lease" among us we do for Jesus. And in her mind the "least" were not always poor. Sometimes they were proude and rich and powerful.
Last week, I dropped by to hear Arizona evangelist Bruce Calahan preach at the Potter's Church in South Salt Lake. He sounded a theme that brought Mother Teresa to mind: When the spirit first enters our lives, it enters in ways we never anticipate. It startles, upsets and unnerves us.
That was Mother Teresa's talent - one of her spiritual gifts: an ability to upset and unnerve those who expected one thing but were given another.
I'm sorry I never go to meet her. Not just because I wanted to land a good interview. And not just for my own ego - though both of those reasons probably came into play.
No, I wanted to meet Mother Teresa for an even more self-interested reason. I wanted her to look at me the same way she looked not only at the poor but also at the proud, the shifty and confused and - for a moment - see something good.
I wanted her to look at me and see that face of Jesus.